Lightning Fill In The Blank

PETER SAGAL, host:

Now, on to our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer is now worth two points. Carl, can you give us the scores?

CARL KASELL: We have a tie for first place, Peter. Charlie Pierce and Paul Provenza - each has three points. Faith Salie has two. All right.

SAGAL: Faith you're in third place. You're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank:

President Obama announced plans this week to overhaul the education law known as blank.

Ms. FAITH SALIE: Oh, No Child Left Behind?

SAGAL: Right.

(Soundbite of bell)

SAGAL: On Thursday, former President Jimmy Carter called the current efforts to bring peace to the blank feeble.

Ms. SALIE: Middle East.

SAGAL: Right.

(Soundbite of bell)

SAGAL: According to a report by the Congressional Budget Office, the blank bill will reduce the federal deficit by over $100 billion over 10 years.

Ms. SALIE: Health bill, health care.

SAGAL: Right, health care, yes.

(Soundbite of bell)

SAGAL: As stocks plunged, former video rental giant blank announced that it may file for bankruptcy.

Ms. SALIE: Blockbuster.

SAGAL: Right.

(Soundbite of bell)

SAGAL: A North Carolina teacher is in trouble after writing blank on a sixth grader's test.

Ms. SALIE: Loser.

SAGAL: Exactly right.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: Minus 20 percent for being a loser, is what she wrote.

A report released this week shows that New York blanks overcharged customers $8.3 million over the past two years.

Ms. SALIE: Uh, taxi drivers.

SAGAL: Right.

(Soundbite of bell)

SAGAL: A police officer checking traffic speeds in Chattanooga felt his car shaking and got out to find blank.

Ms. SALIE: A paratrooping bear in it.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: No. Bear from above, no. What he found, this cop, was a bulldog in the process of chewing his tires off. Officer Clayton Holmes tried everything from pepper spray to tasers, but the dog still managed to chew off two tires and the entire front bumper before officers could capture him.

Mr. PIERCE: It ate a car?

SAGAL: It ate a half a car. Holmes said he was glad the damage wasnt even worse, and that he would never, ever take the baconmobile out on patrol again.

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. PROVENZA: Were they driving?

SAGAL: No, he was sitting still. You know, his gun, checking traffic with his speed gun, and all of a sudden, the car started shaking, and he got out, and there was the crazed bulldog.

Mr. PROVENZA: You know what? Good for him, good for him.

SAGAL: Carl, how did Faith do in our quiz? Pretty well, I think.

KASELL: Faith had six correct answers, for 12 more points. She now has 14 points, and Faith has the lead.

(Soundbite of applause)

SAGAL: We have flipped a coin. Paul has elected to go second. Here we go. Fill in the blank.

In a Rose Garden ceremony Thursday morning, President Obama signed the $18 billion blanks bill into law.

Mr. PROVENZA: Finance reform.

SAGAL: No, jobs. That one's not done yet. Toyota announced that it had found no evidence to support a California drivers account of a runaway blank.

Mr. PROVENZA: Prius.

SAGAL: Right.

(Soundbite of bell)

SAGAL: For his second March Madness bracket while in office, blank went with Kansas to win it all.

Mr. PROVENZA: Barack Obama.

SAGAL: Right.

(Soundbite of bell)

SAGAL: Two IRS agents raided a car wash in California last week, demanding that the owner pay his delinquent taxes in the amount of blank.

Mr. PROVENZA: Oh, ooh, I don't know.

SAGAL: Four cents. In what is believed to be the biggest recording deal ever, the estate of blank signed a contract with Sony for up to $250 million.

Mr. PROVENZA: Michael Jackson.

SAGAL: Right.

(Soundbite of bell)

SAGAL: According to a Rasmussen Reports survey, only 20 percent of Americans planned to blank to celebrate St. Patricks Day.

Mr. PROVENZA: Drink?

SAGAL: Right.

(Soundbite of bell)

SAGAL: An entire block of Yuba City, California, was shut down when a woman left a box of her favorite cabbage on her friends doorstep and labeled it blank.

Mr. PROVENZA: Labeled it explosive.

SAGAL: Yes, close enough. She said the bomb - is what it said.

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. PROVENZA: The bomb.

SAGAL: Because Terri Talbert, the woman in question, wanted to communicate just how good that cabbage was.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: I.e., that cabbage in this box is the bomb, baby. When the friend arrived home,�instead of making a delicious soup, she�called the bomb squad. An embarrassed Talbert said she would never do that again, and to apologize, she sent the local police force all of her old heavy metal CDs, and labeled the box: lots of Anthrax.

(Soundbite of laughter)

(Soundbite of applause)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Paul do on our quiz?

KASELL: Paul had five correct answers, for 10 more points. He now has 13 points. But Faith still has the lead, with 14.

SAGAL: All right.

(Soundbite of applause)

SAGAL: So how many, then, does Charlie Pierce need to take it away from him?

KASELL: Six correct answers.

SAGAL: Here we go, Charlie. This is for the game. Fill in the blank.

This week, people across the country began receiving the 2010 blank forms in the mail.

Mr. PIERCE The census.

SAGAL: Right.

(Soundbite of bell)

SAGAL: In an effort to push his vision of health-care reform, this week, blank sat for an interview with Fox News.

Mr. PIERCE: Barack Obama.

SAGAL: Right.

(Soundbite of bell)

Colleen LaRose, the Philadelphia woman also known as blank, pleaded not guilty to terrorism charges this week.

Mr. PIERCE: Jihad Jane.

SAGAL: Right.

(Soundbite of bell)

SAGAL: This week, Britains Metro newspaper featured what they say is probably the worlds first blank.

Mr. PIERCE: Naked picture of Queen Elizabeth.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: No, the world's first surfing alpaca. A torn Achilles tendon will keep celebrity soccer player blank out for the rest of the season and the World Cup.

Mr. PIERCE: David Beckham.

SAGAL: Right.

(Soundbite of bell)

SAGAL: Best-known for his roles as Davy Crockett and Daniel Boone, actor blank died at age 85.

Mr. PIERCE: Fess Parker.

SAGAL: Fess Parker, indeed.

(Soundbite of bell)

SAGAL: During the White Houses St Patricks Day celebration, Joe Biden mistakenly blanked the Irish prime ministers mother.

Mr. PIERCE: Killed her.

SAGAL: No - well, yes.

Mr. PIERCE: Declared her dead.

SAGAL: Declared her dead, yes.

(Soundbite of bell)

SAGAL: He eulogized her, is what he did. The eulogy wouldve been a nice gesture if Prime Minister Brian Cowens mother was not still alive.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: Something Biden seemed to realize halfway through the statement. Biden said, quote: His mom lived in Long Island for 10 years or so, God rest her soul. Although she's oh wait, your mom's still - your mom's still alive. It was your dad who passed, unquote. Biden quickly recovered from the gaffe, complimenting Cowens mother by saying she looked really good for someone so old.

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. PIERCE: Doesnt she look like herself?

SAGAL: Carl, did Charlie do well enough to win?

KASELL: Charlie needed six correct answers, and he had six correct answers, so 15 points.

SAGAL: Well done.

(Soundbite of applause)

KASELL: So 15 points. Charlie Pierce is this week's champion. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright National Public Radio.