Opening Panel Round
Our panelists answer questions about the week's news: An Army of One becomes an Army of One ... and a half.
PETER SAGAL, host:
We want to remind everybody they can join us here most weeks at the Chase Bank Auditorium. And we are excited to announce our first ever show in Philadelphia. On October 28th, we'll be at the Kimmel Center there. For tickets and more information, you can find the link at our website, waitwait.npr.org.
Right now, panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Roxanne, the U.S. Army, as you know, the finest fighting force in the world, but it's always changing. In fact, new recruits will no longer be required to do what?
Ms. ROXANNE ROBERTS (Columnist, "Reliable Source"): Fight?
(Soundbite of laughter)
SAGAL: Yes, we're moving towards a more pacifist army. Negotiation. No.
Ms. ROBERTS: Boot camp?
SAGAL: No, it's an aspect of boot camp.
Ms. ROBERTS: Push ups.
SAGAL: Close enough. Push ups and sit ups is the answer.
(Soundbite of bell)
SAGAL: No more of either, at least not nearly so many of them. It turns out that in the 21st century, our recruits tend not to be able to bend that way.
(Soundbite of laughter)
SAGAL: The general in charge of basic training for the Army says, quote, "What we were finding was that the soldiers we're getting in today's Army are not in as good shape as they used to be," unquote. In other words...
Mr. ADAM FELBER (Writer, "Real Time with Bill Maher"): In other words, when they lie on their bellies, their arms don't reach the ground.
SAGAL: Yeah, something like that.
(Soundbite of laughter)
Mr. FELBER: Very hard to do a push up.
SAGAL: You, recruit, get down on the ground and try desperately to get up for a while...
(Soundbite of laughter)
SAGAL: ...until I feel pity and help you.
Ms. ROBERTS: Do we blame the couch or the computer for this?
SAGAL: Both of these things. Apparently, today's youth don't get out as much as they used to. The new fitness regime for the Army...
Mr. MAZ JOBRANI (Comedian, "Axis of Evil"): You, drop and give me one.
(Soundbite of laughter)
Mr. JOBRANI: Bitch.
(Soundbite of laughter)
SAGAL: What's weird about this is changing this program, this time-honored basic training exercise regimen. It's a surprising admission of defeat from an organization, the Army, that's usually so proud. It's like instead of Be All That You Can Be, it's now, So I Guess That's All You Can Be.
(Soundbite of laughter) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright National Public Radio.
