NPR

Limericks

Carl reads three news-related limericks: Not So Killer, a Veggie Tall Tale, and Mickey Mouse Clubbin'.

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank, but first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait-Wait, that's 1-888-924-8924, or click the contact us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org.

There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows back at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago, and our upcoming show at the Riverside Theater in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Tickets are on sale now. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

DANIAL YUAN: Hi, this is Danial from Houston, Texas.

SAGAL: Hey, how are things in Houston?

YUAN: It's nice. They weather isn't boiling hot, so I'm pretty happy.

SAGAL: That's cool. What do you do there?

YUAN: I'm an environmental scientist for the city.

SAGAL: Wait a minute, you're an environmental scientist and you work for the city of Houston?

(LAUGHTER)

YUAN: Yes, there's a couple of us, yeah.

SAGAL: Really? So what do you do? You just go in the office every day and go "man, things are bad"?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well, welcome to the show, Danial. Carl Kasell right now is going to read you three news-related limericks, with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. Here is your first limerick.

CARL KASELL: Most killer whale boys here, like Tommy, grow up to be clingy and glommy. While hunting they roam but still live at home. They like to stay close to their?

YUAN: Mommy.

SAGAL: Yes, mommies.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: According to a study in the journal Science, male killer whales live with their mothers well into adulthood. They're not so fierce; they're mama's boys of the animal kingdom. That explains why Shamu's mom was always like "You can't go swimming right after you eat, I don't care if you live in the ocean."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Very good, here is your next limerick.

KASELL: They've made those green foods sound more edgy. Will they proffer the strength to give wedgies? I'm seeing the merit of x-ray eye carrots. I like the re-branding of?

YUAN: Veggies.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Scientists at Cornell University say you can trick your kids into eating their veggies by calling them something different. Instead of carrots, call them orange mouth missiles.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Instead of spinach, green superman food. The problem is when your kids have all, you know, grown up and they're out on a date, you know, and he says, "Waiter, I'll have the green superman food."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: "And the lady will have the dinosaur eggs."

(LAUGHTER)

MO ROCCA: What do you call brussel spouts, yucky balls?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: You have not had my brussel sprouts.

ROCCA: No, I have not. And please, this is a family show.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Yes.

FAITH SALIE: I used to - we had to eat our vegetables before we were allowed to leave the table. And my mom would put melted Velveeta over brussel sprouts to make them better.

SAGAL: Did that work?

SALIE: And I remember I would swallow them whole.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: OK, here is your last limerick.

KASELL: At Disney, we like to spread cheer, but alcohol we used to fear. But now Mickey thinks you might need some drinks, So Fantasyland offers?

YUAN: Oh man, awesome, beer.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: This week Disney World Orlando announced it would finally begin serving alcohol in the park to regular customers for the first time, at its brand new Fantasyland Restaurant. The park will become a new place for every visitor now that they have alcohol.

SALIE: I'm shocked that Disney World has not sold liquor until now. I mean, how could you tolerate it sober?

SAGAL: There were stories - I've never been - that there was a special club in Cinderella's - Sleeping Beauty's castle, excuse me, where if you were a member, you could get in and you could have a drink.

SALIE: Sleeping Beauty doesn't have a castle at Disney World does she?

ROY BLOUNT JR: Uh-oh.

SAGAL: Yeah, Sleeping Beauty.

SALIE: Isn't it Cinderella's?

SAGAL: Sleeping Beauty's castle.

ROCCA: It's Sleeping Beauty.

SALIE: It is?

ROCCA: And she's sleeping because she's drunk.

SAGAL: Exactly.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: She's lying there going "man, am I going to be regretting this in Tomorrow Land.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Danial do on our quiz?

KASELL: Danial, you had three correct answers, so you win our prize.

SAGAL: Well done.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Congratulations. Bye-bye.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

Most Popular