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Lightning Fill In The Blank

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Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now, it is time to move on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Carl, can you give us the scores?

CARL KASELL: Roy Blount, Jr., has one correct answer, Peter. Faith Salie has two. Mo Rocca has four.

SAGAL: Roy, you're in third place, you're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. A Justice Department investigation said Wednesday that Attorney General Eric Holder did not know about the failed gun running operation known as blank.

ROY BLOUNT JR: Fast and Furious.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday a California judge denied an actress's request to remove the controversial blank video from YouTube.

JR: "The Innocence of Muslims."

SAGAL: That's the one.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After reviewing his birth certificate documentation, Kansas announced this week that it would include blank's name on presidential ballots in November.

JR: Barack Obama.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A British man was hauled into court for making his neighbors' lives a living hell by refusing to blank.

JR: Refusing to lower his voice.

SAGAL: Refusing to stop blasting power ballads from his stereo.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: For the twelfth straight year, Bill Gates and Warren Buffet took the number one and two spots on Forbe's list of America's blankest people.

JR: Wealthiest.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Zookeepers at the National Zoo in Washington DC announced the surprise birth of a baby blank.

JR: Little koala bear.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: A panda.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: The Twisted Root Burger Company in Dallas is complimenting customers in an unusual way for offering discounts for blanking.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

JR: The Twisted Root Burger what?

SAGAL: Company.

JR: Company. For being able to say the name of the company without throwing up.

SAGAL: No.

JR: No.

SAGAL: For having a good butt.

JR: Oh yeah.

SAGAL: The good news, you got a discount for your nice butt, if your waiter decides that you do. The bad news: it's just a 2-cent discount. It's one of several unusual discounts they offer, and patrons warn that recipients of the "best butt" discount won't get that discount for long if they keep eating at the Twisted Root Burger Company.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Roy do on our quiz?

KASELL: Roy had four correct answers, for eight more points. He now has nine points, and Roy has the lead.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Well done, all right.

Faith, you are up next. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, after a seven-day strike, teachers in blank public schools returned to classrooms.

FAITH SALIE: Chicago.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Tim Pawlenty announced on Thursday that he is resigning as cochairman of blank's national campaign to take a position as a lobbyist.

SALIE: Mitt Romney's.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Secretary of State Clinton said Thursday she is forming a panel to investigate the attack on the consulate in blank.

SALIE: Libya.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, congressional analysts said that six million people might face tax penalties for not having blank insurance.

SALIE: Health.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Police in York, Pennsylvania are searching for a vandal with poor spelling who painted the word blank on a woman's car.

SALIE: Oh, B-T-I-C-H.

SAGAL: So close, we'll give it to you. It was BICTH.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SALIE: Oh.

SAGAL: Because of a security problem, the German government asked its citizens to stop using the web browser blank.

SALIE: Internet Explorer.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The CDC announced this week that children are at risk of high blood pressure for eating as much blank as adults.

SALIE: Cholesterol.

SAGAL: No, salt.

SALIE: Oh.

SAGAL: In an operation known as Operation Last Call, 18 employees of JFK airport were arrested for blanking.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SALIE: Getting drunk.

SAGAL: No.

MO ROCCA: I love that.

SAGAL: For stealing over 100,000 tiny airplane liquor bottles.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: You know those tiny bottles?

SALIE: Well, same thing.

SAGAL: Well, they didn't drink them. Those tiny bottles, they're great for sneaking booze into concerts, or for holding in your hand and pretending you're an alcoholic giant.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Yo, ho, ho. The employees allegedly planned to sell them on the black market, or maybe set up rollicking speakeasies in dollhouses.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Faith do?

KASELL: Faith had six correct answers, for 12 more points. She now has 14 points, and Faith has taken the lead.

SAGAL: Very well done, all right.

(APPLAUSE)

SALIE: It's all you.

SAGAL: How many then does Mo need to win?

KASELL: Six to tie, seven to win outright.

SAGAL: That's a tall order. Here we go. Faith did well; let's see if you can do as well. This is for the game, Mo. Fill in the blank. Police arrested 185 protesters blocking the New York Stock Exchange on the first anniversary of blank.

ROCCA: The Occupy Wall Street protest movement.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, President Obama issued an unfair trade complaint against blank saying it improperly subsidizes the export of auto parts.

ROCCA: China.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Apple said this week that presales for the new blank reached 2 million in just one day.

ROCCA: It's the iPhone 5.

SAGAL: Indeed it is.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A court appointed trustee announced Thursday that another $2.5 billion will be returned to victims of blank's ponzi scheme.

ROCCA: Madoff, Bernie Madoff.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Because of a labor dispute with pilots, blank said it was cancelling 300 flights this week.

ROCCA: Oh, is that JetBlue, no American.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: American. It's American.

SAGAL: Carl, what do you think? You going to give him that one? All right, you got it.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

ROCCA: Sorry, OK.

SAGAL: In an effort to tackle voter fraud, voters in Texas are receiving letters asking them if they are blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

ROCCA: Letters went out to voters asking them if they were alive.

SAGAL: In fact, you are right.

ROCCA: OK.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Seventy-seven thousand people got letters asking them if they were in fact dead. If they were alive, they could send a letter back, or call up a special Dead Voter Hotline and just breathe into it.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Now...

ROCCA: How do zombies vote?

SAGAL: That's a good question.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Undead voters are upset about being disenfranchised, and zombie organizers are trying to make sure that their voters shamble to the polls.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, did Mo do well enough to win?

KASELL: He did, he had seven correct answers, for 14 more points.

SAGAL: Whoa.

(APPLAUSE)

KASELL: So with 18 points, Mo Rocca is this week's champion.

SAGAL: Well done. You dominated that.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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