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You're probably familiar with the term "MRE," Meals Ready To Eat. They're shelf-stable foods meant to last forever--the kind of thing they hand out after a disaster. We got a hold of an MRE Pepperoni Sandwich.
Ian: If they hand these out in the zombie apocalypse, I think I'll just eat brains like everybody else.
Eva: I think you got confused, Ian. "Shelf-stable" refers to the fact this is made from the wood of old shelves and stables.
Ian: This tastes just like that old McDonald's promotional sandwich the McTheRoad.
Robert: I read that when the Allies airlifted these during the siege of Leningrad the Russians threw them back.
Robert: If they wanted to improve on the Pig In A Blanket I think they could have done better than Snake In A Sleeping Bag.
Eva: You guys, look at it. I think we just ate Twinkie's boyfriend.
Leah: These were made to eat after the apocalypse...but I think they might be causing it.
Eva: Is this like gum? Will it live inside my stomach for 25 years?
Robert: I think it's really great that some innovative entrepreneur is finding a use for all that leftover fallout shelter food from 1958.
Eva: If need be, these will also double as bullet-proof vests during combat.
Ian: It says on the package, "the sandwich worth killing Rue for."
Ian: That last joke might make me cry.
[The verdict: really, not very tasty. The apocalypse is going to be way less fun than we thought. Thanks a lot, Mayan calendar.]