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Lightning Fill In The Blank

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Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as he or she can, each correct answer now worth two points. Carl, can you give us the scores?

CARL KASELL: We have a tie for first place, Peter. Adam Felber and Kyrie O'Connor both have three points. Paula Poundstone has two.

SAGAL: OK, Paula, you're in third place. You're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Perfect.

SAGAL: After meeting with the NRA, Joe Biden announced he would present recommendations to curb blank by next Tuesday.

POUNDSTONE: Gun, gun sales.

SAGAL: Yes, gun violence.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Members of both parties criticized President Obama's decision to nominate blank to be the next Secretary of Defense.

POUNDSTONE: Chuck Hagel.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Investigators are trying to determine what caused a blank traveling from New Jersey to New York to crash Wednesday.

POUNDSTONE: One of those boats, the ferries.

SAGAL: Yes, a ferry, one of those boats.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, the movie "Lincoln" led the pack with 12 blank nominations.

POUNDSTONE: Academy Award, Oscar.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Inspired by claims made by Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps, scientists this week determined that blanking is quote "fine"?

POUNDSTONE: The water.

SAGAL: The water is fine.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And the water they said stays fine even after people pee in it. This week Oprah Winfrey announced that she would be interviewing blank about his doping scandal, next week.

POUNDSTONE: Lance Armstrong.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In a somewhat surprising move, this week the National Father's Day Council named blank Father of the Year.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, I think I know this. Wait. I do know it. Hold on. Hold on.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Father of the year. Clinton.

SAGAL: Yes, Bill Clinton, very good.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Among those pleading guilty to participating in a notorious, destructive 2011 hockey riot in Canada is blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

POUNDSTONE: My cat, Mrs. Fizziwig.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Pleading guilty to participating the hockey riot was Miss Congeniality.

POUNDSTONE: Oh.

SAGAL: Sophie Laboissonniere was awarded the title of Miss Congeniality in the 2011 Miss Coastal Vancouver pageant, a title, which she proved, she had earned by being the nicest and sweetest rioter looting and breaking into buildings during the riot. Her lawyer has asked for leniency, and said that officials shouldn't be that surprised, since for the talent portion of the competition she rolled and torched a car.

(LAUGHTER)

ADAM FELBER: But so sweetly.

SAGAL: Isn't it nice? Carl, how did Paula do on our quiz?

KASELL: Paula had six correct answers for 12 more points. She now has 14 points and Paula has taken the lead.

SAGAL: Whoa.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Well done, Paula. We have flipped a coin. Adam has decided to go next. Fill in the blank. White House officials said Tuesday they are considering removing all troops from blank after 2014.

FELBER: Afghanistan.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After it announced it would holding a media event for a big unveiling next week , stocks of social media giant blank jumped.

FELBER: Facebook.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The National Cathedral announced this week that effective immediately, it will officiate weddings for blank couples.

FELBER: Same sex.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Tests this week proved that a Chicago man who died shortly after blanking was poisoned with cyanide.

FELBER: Winning the lottery.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Returning to work after being hospitalized for a blood clot caused by a fall, Hilary Clinton's staff presented her with blank.

FELBER: A helmet.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: For the first time in ten years, musician blank released a new single.

FELBER: David Bowie.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In a surprisingly candid interview with "Dateline," Al Roker confessed that during a 2002 visit to the White House he blanked.

FELBER: He pooped in his own pants.

SAGAL: He did.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: A jewel heist in Australia went wrong this week when the thieves accidentally blanked.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

FELBER: Broke into a candy store.

SAGAL: No. They tunneled into a KFC instead of the jewelers. Close, you were. This was Peter Welsh and Dwayne Dolan's third attempt to rob the same jewelry shop. They smashed the window. That didn't work. And when they tried to break in through the back door, they ended up at the local Animal Welfare League.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So when they tunneled through the wall and found themselves in the KFC next door instead of the jewelry store, they just threw up their hands and robbed the KFC instead.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Adam do on our quiz?

KASELL: Adam had seven correct answers, for 14 more points.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, there it is.

KASELL: He now has 17 points, and Adam has taken the lead.

SAGAL: Wow, that was masterful.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: So how many does Kyrie need to win the game?

KASELL: Seven to tie, eight to win outright.

SAGAL: Here we go, Kyrie. This is for the game.

KYRIE O'CONNOR: No stress, no stress.

SAGAL: Fill in the blank. Boston declared a public health emergency on Wednesday after confirming 700 cases of blank.

O'CONNOR: The flu.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week President Obama nominated John Brennan to be the next head of the blank.

O'CONNOR: CIA.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Because of health problems, the inauguration for Venezuelan president blank was postponed.

O'CONNOR: Hugo Chavez.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After flights were canceled due to three incidents in three days, concerns grew about Boeing's new blank plane.

O'CONNOR: Dreamliner.

SAGAL: Yes, the Dreamliner.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In spite of his claims of innocence, police at a protest in Belarus arrested a blank for blanking.

O'CONNOR: A man for applauding.

SAGAL: Right, a one-armed man for clapping.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: This week Hasbro announced that fan votes will determine which playing piece will be retired from the game blank.

O'CONNOR: Monopoly.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In this year's Baseball Hall of Fame voting, blank received enough votes to get in.

O'CONNOR: Nobody.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Officials in Canada are reminding citizens that hamsters giving birth, bad pizza and sasquatch sightings are not good reasons to blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

O'CONNOR: To drive off the road.

SAGAL: No, to call 911.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Police officials say people need to remember that the number is for emergencies only, and even though it may seem like an emergency when the hamster you just bought unexpectedly gives birth to ten babies, that's not the kind of emergency they mean.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, did Kyrie do well enough to win? She came close.

KASELL: She came very close, Peter. She had seven correct answers for 14 more points. She now has 17 points, and is tied with Adam Felber. So this week, Adam Felber and Kyrie O'Connor are co-champions.

SAGAL: Congratulations, well done.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Bravo.

POUNDSTONE: Congratulations.

FELBER: Thank you.

SAGAL: Paula, how do you feel?

POUNDSTONE: Good.

(LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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