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Limericks

Carl reads three news-related limericks: Sober Ice; Yelling Bellied Warblers; the Pol Pot of Pop.

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank but first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait-Wait, that's 1-888-924-8924. Or you can click the contact us link on our website wait.wait.npr.org.

There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago, and check out the latest "How to do Everything" podcast. This week: Ian and Mike tell you how a vacuum cleaner can revolutionize the way you do your hair. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

AASHOO TANDON: Hey, it's Aashoo Tandon.

SAGAL: Hey, Aashoo Tandon, you said?

TANDON: Yep.

SAGAL: That's great. Where are you calling from?

TANDON: From Cincinnati.

SAGAL: What do you do there?

TANDON: I'm a pediatric cardiology fellow.

SAGAL: Oooh.

TANDON: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

PETER GROSZ: Wait a minute. Was that a boo or an...

ROXANNE ROBERTS: No, no, it's like so serious.

GROSZ: Oh, OK. Ohhhh, OK, I see, yeah.

MO ROCCA: I felt like he lightened it up by using the word fellow instead of surgeon.

SAGAL: I'm a fellow who does pediatric cardiology.

ROCCA: That's what I assumed.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Yeah.

TANDON: So, you know, one thing that makes it a little lighter is when you're dealing with the kids, you can like make faces at them or poke them or make fun of them. And, you know, if it was an adult, they'd get all weirded out by that.

GROSZ: So you got into it to poke kids.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: Just stick your finger in their belly and stuff.

SAGAL: Yeah. Well, welcome to the show, Aashoo. You are going to play our listener limerick challenge. Carl Kasell will read for you three news-related limericks. Of course, the last word he will now say. That will be up to you. Do that two times out of three, and you'll win. Ready to play?

TANDON: Yep.

SAGAL: Here we go. Here is your first limerick.

CARL KASELL: As a city bird, I can't show doubt. So I might come across as a lout. But traffic is loud and so are the crowds, so I can't just chirp, I must?

TANDON: Shout.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: This week - very good, shout - researchers at Germany's Max Planck Institute for Ornithology revealed that city birds, much like their human counterparts, are louder and shriller than their country cousins. That's in order to be heard over the sound of traffic. It's like hey, hey, I'm flapping here. I'm flapping here.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The worst is the cab driver birds in the city. You cut them off in traffic, they flip you the human.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right, very good, here is your next limerick.

KASELL: As they fall in my scotch with a plunk, my ice cubes will watch what I've sunk. They measure tip of sip after sip. They warn me when I'm getting?

TANDON: Drunk.

SAGAL: Yes, drunk, very good.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Smart Cubes are what they're called. Smart Cubes are high tech fake ice cubes you put in your cocktail and they let you know when it's time to stop drinking and start throwing up.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: They count your sips by measuring the tilting motion of your glass, right? If you exceed the limit, the ice cubes start to blink orange. If you ignore that, they turn red. You'll know you're really drunk when your ice cubes are telling you to stop drinking and you have not purchased or used Smart Cubes.

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: Now, what about straws, Smart Cubes?

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: What's your answer for that?

SAGAL: Is that like a question on the Alcoholics Anonymous questionnaire when you know you've hit bottom. Do you lie to your ice cubes about how much you're drinking?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: You know you've hit bottom when you're telling your ice cubes, "It's soda, all right?"

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: What do you know? You're not my dad.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your last limerick, Aashoo.

KASELL: Where I go, my dad's terror is not far. I can cruise in a commandeered cop car. I climb Uzbek charts 'cause my dad rules these parts. I'm a dictator's daughter and?

TANDON: Pop star.

SAGAL: Yes, pop star.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Gulnara Karimova, the daughter of the brutal dictator of Uzbekistan, is a typical dictator's daughter. She amassed a huge fortune via corruption, intimidation and terror, except what she really wants to be is a pop star. She's released a bunch of songs and videos under the name Googoosha. Imagine Lady Gaga crossed with Idi Amin.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Or if that's too weird, just imagine Madonna.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Her latest big hit - and this is true - is a duet with French actor Girard Depardieu...

ROCCA: Oh gosh.

SAGAL: Entitled "Ebony and Completely Crazy."

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: You know, I find that this show is very popular in Uzbekistan and I think that he's a wonderful dictator.

SAGAL: Yeah.

GROSZ: I don't think he's a brutal dictator. I think he's a great dictator. That was Peter Grosz saying that.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Aashoo do on our quiz?

KASELL: Aashoo, you had three correct answers, so you win our prize. Congratulations.

TANDON: Thank you.

SAGAL: Bye-bye.

(APPLAUSE)

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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