NPR

Panel Round Two

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Transcript

CARL KASELL: From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR News quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with Paula Poundstone, Bobcat Goldthwait, and Faith Salie. And here again is your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Carl.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Thank you so much, everybody. In just a minute, Carl takes his papal name, Pope Rhymus II in our listener limerick challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-Wait-Wait, that's 1-888-924-8924.

Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Paula, people everywhere are excited about the new Google glasses that finally cracked the code of making glasses even nerdier. Well Google debuted another new product this week, what is it?

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Google debuted another product. Give me - I don't know.

SAGAL: Well, they're called Nerd Jordans.

POUNDSTONE: Sneakers.

SAGAL: Sneakers that do what?

POUNDSTONE: Sneakers that calculate.

SAGAL: No. They have computers in them but they let you know what they're thinking by doing what?

POUNDSTONE: They talk.

SAGAL: Yes, they're talking shoes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

POUNDSTONE: Oh, thank goodness.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: They debuted the shoes, which look like really ugly sneakers with, like, speakers on them at South by Southwest this week. As soon as you put them on, they say things like "Get your foot out of me."

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: You're stepping on me.

SAGAL: Why God, why was I given a tongue?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: They've been equipped with a speaker and an accelerometer and a pressure sensor. And when you're exercising, the Google shoes provide feedback on how you're doing. And they also say, "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Google is the first to have this technology in shoes, mostly because Nike didn't want their shoes to talk.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I was made by a malnourished child.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Just as Google Search because aware of your preferences, you know you use Google to search for things and it knows who you are, the Google shoes become aware of your habits. So they say things like, "So, you're going back for seconds again, great."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The shoes are like "I have the worst job." And the talking underwear is like "wait."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bobcat, it is true that we eat more than our share of fatty, unhealthy foods, which makes us fatty...

BOBCAT GOLDTHWAIT: Hey, hey, why do I get this one?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No reason, you're just next on the list.

GOLDTHWAIT: All right.

SAGAL: It turns out, we're not alone. It turns out a new study found clogged arteries in a third of what?

GOLDTHWAIT: Oh, dogs.

SAGAL: No.

GOLDTHWAIT: Cats.

SAGAL: No.

GOLDTHWAIT: Monkeys.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I'll give you a hint. The unhealthiest one of all was King Bacon Common.

GOLDTHWAIT: Pigs.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No.

FAITH SALIE: Not daddies but?

GOLDTHWAIT: Mommies.

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: Ish.

GOLDTHWAIT: Mommies-ish.

SAGAL: Mommies.

SALIE: Pretend you're English. Say it like you're English.

(LAUGHTER)

GOLDTHWAIT: Hello, hello, hello.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

GOLDTHWAIT: Hello, mum. Hello, mummies.

SAGAL: Mummies, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

GOLDTHWAIT: Yeah. Suddenly this was Pygmalion here.

SAGAL: Suddenly, yes.

POUNDSTONE: So wait a minute, mummies have blocked arteries?

SAGAL: Yeah, apparently they've done this study of mummies not only in Egypt but around the world. It was in the Lancet, published online and on papyrus.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And they found a third of all the mummies that they looked at had clogged arteries. They were just as unhealthy as we are - it turns out - even though they lived many thousands of years ago.

GOLDTHWAIT: And they were not drinking large sodas.

SAGAL: It's true.

(LAUGHTER)

GOLDTHWAIT: In your face, Bloomberg.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It turns out "Walk like an Egyptian" means takes a few steps and then start wheezing and have to sit down.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Paula, more and more businesses are trying to reach out to women, and one company is making a big push to bring more females in the door. Who is it?

POUNDSTONE: The pope.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No.

POUNDSTONE: Wants us to be part of the papal decision.

SAGAL: Nope. Well there are a lot of women already in there but they're working.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, they're trying to get the - oh, I thought that's what you were saying. Oh, they want more customers.

SAGAL: Yes.

POUNDSTONE: I thought you were saying as employees.

SAGAL: No, no, no.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, they want more customers.

SAGAL: Well, they can just tell the women that the name is - it's all about owls. We just like owls.

POUNDSTONE: Who, who.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: I'm totally lost.

SAGAL: I'm betting you've never been to one.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, oh, wait. Oh, yes, we go there on Mother's Day. Hooters.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Hooters.

POUNDSTONE: Yes.

SAGAL: If you want to know what women want, naturally you talk to a group of Hooters restaurant executives. And here's what they're doing to bring in the ladies into their restaurant. Seriously, they're adding salads and putting in more windows and curtains around them. That's what they're doing to bring in women.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah, it's...

SAGAL: So I'm trying to imagine a...

POUNDSTONE: It's like a magnet, that's what it is.

SAGAL: I'm trying to imagine this conversation somewhere in America. It's like, hey, sweetheart, I'm feeling a little hungry. Let's go to Hooters. And the woman says, is that the place where they dress young women in short shorts and tight tops? Well, yes. Do they have salads and nice curtains?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Why, yes, they do. I'll grab my purse. Let's go.

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: Are they bringing in male servers to attract women?

SAGAL: Well that was the thing, I mean that's the thing. It's like, you fools, you don't...

SALIE: I love a man with a healthy rack.

SAGAL: Exactly.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: You do not try to bring women into Hooters. You set up a new chain restaurant. You do it in reverse. You have like the Beefcake Factory. PF Dongs.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Truly, they'll play this on pledge week.

SAGAL: Absolutely.

GOLDTHWAIT: Yes.

POUNDSTONE: Wow.

GOLDTHWAIT: Like the whole idea of Hooters is like, it's just - I'm a mono-tasker. I mean I certainly like women and I liked fried food but not at the same time.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: That combination is distracting for you, yeah.

GOLDTHWAIT: Yeah. It's like, look, I'm 50. The food is going to win every time now.

(LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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