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Lightning Fill In The Blank

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Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now it's time to move on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Carl, can you give us the scores?

CARL KASELL: We have a tie for first place, Peter. Maz Jobrani and Amy Dickinson have three points each.

AMY DICKINSON: Really?

KASELL: Roy Blount, Jr. has two.

ROY BLOUNT JR.: Wow.

SAGAL: OK. Roy, you are in third place so you are up first. Fill in the blank. On Monday, two men accused of planning a terror attack involving a train to New York were arrested by officials in blank.

BLOUNT: I was so preoccupied with other terror attacks...

(LAUGHTER)

BLOUNT: ...in Boston.

SAGAL: In Canada.

BLOUNT: Oh.

SAGAL: Stocks nosedived briefly Tuesday after hackers posted a message on the AP's Twitter feed saying that the blank had been attacked.

BLOUNT: White House.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel said the U.S. had evidence that chemical weapons have been used in blank.

BLOUNT: Syria.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The Koch brothers announced this week that to spread the conservative message, they're considering buying the blank company.

BLOUNT: Tribune.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A woman attending a circus in Florida was surprised when she went to the restroom and blanked.

BLOUNT: Found the people juggling in there.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: She found a tiger inside...

BLOUNT: Oh, my goodness.

SAGAL: ...that had escaped. The American folk singer who opened at Woodstock blank died this week at age 72.

BLOUNT: Richie Havens.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After she was arrested for disorderly conduct while asking police, do you know my name, actress blank has apologized.

BLOUNT: It was - oh, she's Reese Witherspoon.

SAGAL: That's exactly right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Anchorman A.J. Clemente made his television debut...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...on KFRY in North Dakota this week. And his very first words on air were blank.

BLOUNT: Bleep, bleep.

SAGAL: That's right.

(LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: That's what he said.

MAZ JOBRANI: Hilarious.

SAGAL: A.J. Clemente's first broadcast began before he knew it had begun, when the camera caught him looking at his notes and swearing like a sailor.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Then he looked up, realized he was on camera and mumbled about the East Coast where he's from. After the broadcast, Clemente tweeted, well, that couldn't have gone any worse. He was then fired.

(LAUGHTER)

KASELL: Carl, how did Roy do on our quiz?

Roy had six correct answers for 12 more points. He now has 14 points, and Roy has taken the lead.

SAGAL: All right.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Thank you, Carl. We flipped a coin, Amy has elected to go second. Here we go, Amy, you're up next. The TSA announced this week that it is delaying a plan to allow people to bring small blank onto airplanes.

DICKINSON: Knives? No.

SAGAL: Small knives.

DICKINSON: Oh.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Exactly one week after the attack, President Obama led a moment of silence for the victims of the bombing at the blank.

DICKINSON: Boston Marathon.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Heavy rain this week led to even more blanking in the Midwest states.

DICKINSON: Flooding.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The Boy Scouts drew criticism after announcing that they will now allow blank scouts but not blank leaders.

DICKINSON: Gay.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Police in New Zealand tracked a man who allegedly stole a pack of gummy bears by blanking.

DICKINSON: Following the trail of gummy bears.

SAGAL: Exactly right.

DICKINSON: No.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Allan Arbus, best known - Allan Arbus, best known for his role as Dr. Sidney Freedman in the Korean War sitcom blank died this week at age 95.

DICKINSON: "M.A.S.H."

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Mike Tyson started following soccer player Luis Suarez on Twitter after Suarez blanked an opponent during a game.

DICKINSON: Bit his ear?

SAGAL: Yes, indeed.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Bus drivers in France are fed up...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...and threatening to strike because blank.

DICKINSON: Bus drivers in France threatening to strike because they can't ring their bell baguette - no.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: It involves...

SAGAL: They're threatening to strike in Marce because they say their uniform pants are too tight.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: We reject the bottom half of this uniform, said a union representative while desperately sucking his gut in. The pants are far too tight. The new skintight pants aren't the only problem either. The bus drivers are also unhappy with the two-drink minimum and the new requirement that they collect bus fares in their waistbands.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Amy do on our quiz?

KASELL: Amy had seven correct answers for 14 more points. She now has 17 points, and Amy has taken the lead.

JOBRANI: Wow.

SAGAL: Well done.

JOBRANI: Wow.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: So then how many does Maz need to win?

KASELL: Seven to tie, eight to win outright.

SAGAL: OK, Maz, this is for the game. Fill in the blank. Two years after a tweet caused him to leave office in disgrace, blank opened a new Twitter account.

JOBRANI: Weiner.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Court officials in Honolulu prevented a man from smuggling blank into his felony court hearings.

JOBRANI: Fruit?

SAGAL: No. Two 40s and a duck.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: People magazine drew some criticism this week for naming blank as the world's most beautiful woman.

JOBRANI: Gwyneth Paltrow.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: With sales of the song "Sweet Caroline" up 597 percent this week, blank announced he would donate the royalties to victims of the Boston bombing.

JOBRANI: The guy, Diamond.

SAGAL: Neil Diamond.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Art lovers in Louisiana are paying top dollar...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...for paintings created by artists Winkelhimer Smith a blank.

JOBRANI: Winkelhimer Smith a blank?

SAGAL: Is a blank.

JOBRANI: Winkelhimer Smith is a hotdog.

SAGAL: Winkelhimer Smith is a disabled squirrel.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Just two years ago, Winkelhimer Smith narrowly escaped being eaten by a cat but was nursed back to health by a kindly woman who taught her to hold a paintbrush in her mouth. Now Winkelhimer's paintings are selling on eBay and Daniel Day-Lewis has been cast in the role of...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...of the squirrel in the film adaptation to be called "My Left Paw."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, did Maz do well enough to win?

KASELL: He needed at least seven points to tie, but he had just three points.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Oh, goodness.

KASELL: So, with 17 points, Amy Dickinson is this week's champion.

(APPLAUSE)

(SOUNDBITE OF CHEERING)

SAGAL: Well done. In just a minute, we'll ask our panelists to predict what will be the big exhibit at the Obama Presidential Library some day. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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