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Lightning Fill In The Blank

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Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now, to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as he or she can, each correct answer now worth two points. Carl, can you give us the scores?

CARL KASELL: Maz Jobrani and Kyrie O'Connor, they both have two points each. Paula Poundstone has the lead with three points.

SAGAL: All right. We flipped a coin. Kyrie has elected to go second. So, Maz, you are up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question, fill in the blank. On Wednesday, the House defeated an amendment that would have restricted the collection of phone records by the blank.

MAZ JOBRANI: The NSA.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Experts said this week that because of Edward Snowden, relations between the US and blank are at the lowest point since the end of the Cold War.

JOBRANI: Russia.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The day after Wellington, New Zealand was hit with a 6.8 magnitude earthquake, the weather forecast in the local paper read blank.

JOBRANI: I don't know.

SAGAL: Who cares so long as the ground stays still.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Milwaukee Brewer Ryan Braun was suspended for the remainder of the season for violating Major League Baseball's blanking policy.

JOBRANI: Drug.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After being refused service at a McDonald's drive-thru while on horseback, a woman was fined for blanking.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

JOBRANI: Having her horse poop on the parking lot?

SAGAL: You're so close I'll give it to you. For taking the horse into the McDonald's.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So she rides the horse up to the drive thru. They say, we're not going to serve a horse at the drive-thru. She says, I understand that. That's strange. That's fine. I'm a little high, can't reach the window. So she rides the horse into the McDonald's.

JOBRANI: Wow.

SAGAL: And it does what all of us do in a McDonald's, it relieves itself on the floor. McDonald's employees reacted calmly saying they have experience dealing with horses after years of making McRibs.

(SOUNDBITE OF DISGUST)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Maz do?

KASELL: Maz had five correct answers for 10 more points. He now has 12 points and Maz has taken the lead.

SAGAL: Very well done, Maz. All right.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Kyrie, you're up next. Please fill in the blank. Investigators are working to determine what caused a deadly train derailment Wednesday in blank..

KYRIE O'CONNOR: Spain.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Federal prosecutors filed insider trading charges this week against SAC Capital, one of the country's largest blanks.

O'CONNOR: Hedge funds.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Questions about drilling safety arose once again this week after the explosion of a gas well in the blank.

O'CONNOR: Gulf of Mexico.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Massive crowds turned out to see Pope Francis during this visit this week in blank.

O'CONNOR: Brazil.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After a journalist made a Freedom of Information Act request for NSA emails, he was told he couldn't have them because the NSA does not blank.

O'CONNOR: Doesn't know how to search for them.

SAGAL: Exactly right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Best known for his roles in TV's "Law and Order" and the movie "Get Shorty," actor blank died this week at age 69.

O'CONNOR: Dennis Farina.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: To explain why he posted a half naked photo of himself on Twitter, TV personality blank said tequila was to blame.

O'CONNOR: Oh, this just disturbed me. Geraldo Rivera.

SAGAL: Indeed, Geraldo Rivera.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: An Ohio man who returned a book to the library 41 years late said it took so long to return because blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

O'CONNOR: He had to finish it.

SAGAL: Yes. He's a really slow reader.

(LAUGHTER)

JOBRANI: Hilarious.

(APPLAUSE)

PAULA POUNDSTONE: That was great, Kyrie.

JOBRANI: Yeah.

SAGAL: That was really impressive. The man checked "The Real Book About Snakes" out of the Champaign County Library...

POUNDSTONE: That's a slow read, that is.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...in July, 1972. He's been engrossed in it ever since. In the note, the man explained "Sorry I've kept this book so long, but I'm a really slow reader. I enclosed my fine of $300." The library director said he appreciates having the book back, but admits he did have misgivings about allowing the man to check out a new book, "War and Peace."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Kyrie do on our quiz?

KASELL: Kyrie had eight correct answers for 16 more points. She now has 18 points and the lead.

SAGAL: Well done.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: I always love to ask this question. How many then does Paula need to win?

KASELL: Eight to win.

SAGAL: Oh, my gosh, Paula.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

SAGAL: If you run the table. Here we go, Paula.

POUNDSTONE: OK, yeah.

SAGAL: A federal judge in Michigan swept aside lawsuits that threatened the bankruptcy proceedings for the city of blank.

POUNDSTONE: Detroit.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, officials said the U.S. will proceed with plans to arm the rebels in blank.

POUNDSTONE: Syria.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The NTSB is launching an investigation to determine why the nose gear of a Southwest plane collapsed during a landing at blank.

POUNDSTONE: New York.

SAGAL: Yeah, La Guardia Airport, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to a study released this week, skipping blank increases your chances of a heart attack.

POUNDSTONE: Lunch.

SAGAL: No, breakfast. A Dutch coffee company has released a vending machine with facial recognition software that blanks.

POUNDSTONE: Makes your coffee the way you like it.

SAGAL: No. It dispenses free coffee if it sees you yawn.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHER)

SAGAL: At a performance in Canada this week, Beyonce kept singing even though her hair had blanked.

POUNDSTONE: Caught on fire.

SAGAL: No. Gotten sucked into a fan.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, yeah.

SAGAL: Taco Bell shocked parents this week with its decision to stop selling special blank meals.

POUNDSTONE: Happy meals?

SAGAL: Yeah, basically kid meals.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A Canadian man caused an international incident involving U.S. and Canadian coast guards this week when he blanked.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

POUNDSTONE: When he - Canadian man - when he ran naked across the border.

SAGAL: No. When he drank eight beers and swam across the Detroit River into Michigan just to prove he could.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It did not impress the Canadian or U.S. Coast Guard. But after eight beers, John Morillo didn't care. He said, quote, "I got in trouble and everything. I got to pay fines and stuff. But I don't want it to sound like I didn't make it, because then my buddies are going to say 'ha, ha, you didn't make it.' Because that was the whole thing, to show them I could do it."

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: I'm on his side.

SAGAL: I am too. How can you hear that from him and now feel sympathy and admiration for that man?

POUNDSTONE: Absolutely. You know, Peter, there were so many things I knew this week...

SAGAL: Really?

POUNDSTONE: ...and you did not ask me one.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Just before I ask Carl for your score why don't you share something you knew this week?

POUNDSTONE: Mosquitoes are attracted to dirty feet.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I didn't know that.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah, yeah.

SAGAL: That's interesting. I'll wash my feet. Carl...

POUNDSTONE: Recent discovery.

SAGAL: Thank you, Paula. Carl, how did Paula do on her quiz? Did she do well enough to win?

KASELL: No, Peter, she did not. She had just four correct answers for 11 points. So with 18 points, Kyrie O'Connor is this week's champion.

SAGAL: Well done, Kyrie. Done like a boss.

(APPLAUSE)

POUNDSTONE: That's impressive.

JOBRANI: That was very good.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah, it was unbeatable.

JOBRANI: Unbeatable.

POUNDSTONE: Couldn't be done.

JOBRANI: You couldn't do it.

POUNDSTONE: Could not be done.

JOBRANI: You shouldn't even done it.

POUNDSTONE: No. It was...

JOBRANI: You should've just passed.

POUNDSTONE: I should've just - it was discouraging from the very beginning.

SAGAL: It was.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: In just a minute, we'll ask our panelists to predict what will be the royal baby's first word. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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