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Limericks

Carl reads three news-related limericks: Chicken Latte, Bieber Barbasol, Blabbermouth.

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Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill In The Blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Or you can click the contact us link on our website waitwait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago and our upcoming show on September 26th in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. For our English-speaking listeners, that's Red Stick, Louisiana.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Hi, you are on WAIT, WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

KELLY: Hi, this is Kelly. I'm calling from Cary, North Carolina.

SAGAL: Kelly from Cary.

KELLY: Yes.

SAGAL: Where is Cary, North Carolina?

KELLY: It's a suburban town that borders on Chapel Hill, Durham and Raleigh.

SAGAL: Oh, so you're in that part of North Carolina, OK. We were just in Asheville out there to the west. Beautiful place.

KELLY: Yes, that's nice too.

SAGAL: What do you do there?

KELLY: I work at Duke University.

SAGAL: Oh.

KELLY: Sorry, Carl.

CARL KASELL ANNOUNCER: I went to school right down the road at North Carolina.

SAGAL: Yeah. Now do you have strong...

KELLY: A very fine institution.

SAGAL: ...do you have strong feelings about Duke, Carl?

ANNOUNCER: Oh, of course.

SAGAL: What are those feelings?

ANNOUNCER: Rather negative.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well, welcome to the show, Kelly. Thank you so much for being with us. Carl Kasell right here, a proud Tar Heel, is going to read you three news-related limericks, with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the big limericks, you will be a winner. Ready to play?

KELLY: Yes.

SAGAL: Here's your first limerick.

ANNOUNCER: My filter I've had to regroup, and beans I no longer will scoop. I trade milky froth for noodles and broth. My coffee machine now makes...

KELLY: Soup?

SAGAL: Yes, indeed.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: So you're familiar with those single serve Keurig coffee machines or Green Mountain, you know, where you put in a little coffee pod and get an instant cup of prefab coffee. Well now Keurig has teamed up with Campbell's to bring you soup pods. You make soup just like that. You put it in the machine, get your soup, walk away and you destroy the next guy's cup of coffee.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here, Kelly, is your next limerick.

ANNOUNCER: Justin's grooming has made ladies' lust crash. When he cut his hair, that was just rash. But declining to shave is more crazy than brave. Justin Bieber is growing a...

KELLY: Mustache?

SAGAL: Mustache, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Justin Bieber...

KELLY: Oh, no.

SAGAL: ...is ready to tell the world he's not a kid anymore. Nope, he's got a mustache to rival the kid who got held back in 6th grade. And if you're upset by it, don't be, because he could've decided to twerk in his underwear.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: He's proud of his little mustache but he does wish the bassist in his band would stop wetting a napkin and trying to wipe it off.

(LAUGHTER)

MO ROCCA: What kind of a mustache is it?

SAGAL: It's very wispy.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHER)

FAITH SALIE: It's a Canadian mustache.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your last limerick.

ANNOUNCER: When my doctor must act like a sleuth, my chompers tell her the truth. What I eat, smoke, and drink and perhaps what I think. It's all monitored here by my...

KELLY: I'm drawing a blank. Can I hear it again?

SAGAL: You can.

KELLY: Thank you.

SAGAL: When my doctor must act like a sleuth, my chompers tell her the truth. What I eat, smoke, and drink, and perhaps what I think. It's all monitored here by my...

KELLY: Tooth?

SAGAL: Yes, tooth, very good.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Here's the thing. Everybody knows if you want to lose weight, a very simple way to do it is to keep track of what you eat and drink. But...

P.J. O'ROURKE: Or knock all your teeth out.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Scientists at National Taiwan University have developed the smart tooth. It's a tiny, rather bossy, fingernail-sized computer chip you put inside your mouth and it tracks your eating habits. Helps you lose weight. They gave the chip the latest in advanced sensors, and to get us to put it in our mouths, they called it a chip.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Kelly do on our quiz?

ANNOUNCER: Three correct answers, Peter, so she wins our prize.

SAGAL: Well done.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Congratulations, Kelly. Bye-bye.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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