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Lightning Fill In The Blank

All the news we couldn't fit anywhere else.

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now, on to our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as he or she can, each correct answer now worth two points. Carl, can you give us the scores?

CARL KASELL: Paula Poundstone has the lead, Peter. She has three points. Roy Blount, Jr. and Jessi Klein each has two. They're tied for second.

SAGAL: All right. Well, we flipped a coin so Roy is going to go first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. Airlifts continued this week to rescue people trapped by the floods in blank.

ROY BLOUNT, JR.: Colorado.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, John Kerry urged China to play a positive role at the UN over the resolution on blank.

JR.: Syria.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Because of the disastrous London Whale trading debacle, blank agreed to pay a $920 million fine.

JR.: J.P. Morgan.

SAGAL: Yes, J.P Morgan Chase, right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, the president of Brazil postponed a state visit to the US to protest spying by the blank.

JR.: NSA?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Lottery officials announced that one winning ticket had been sold in South Carolina for the $400 million blank game.

JR.: Oh, the name of the game, Powerball.

SAGAL: Powerball, right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Police investigating a car crash in Pennsylvania have determined that despite initial suspicions, the crash was not caused by the driver's blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

JR.: Car crash is not caused by the driver's absence.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It was not caused by the driver's giant clown shoes.

JR.: Oh.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The van, which was carrying two clowns, or 2/28ths of its clown-carrying capacity collided with an SUV. Dimples the Clown, who was driving, honked his horn repeatedly, as he had done all day every day for the last 20 years.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The accident did keep the clowns from getting to their scheduled performance, so that's 25 or 30 kids who will have to find another image to haunt their nightmares for the rest of their lives.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Roy do on our quiz?

KASELL: Roy had five correct answers for 10 more points. He now has 12 points and Roy has taken the lead.

SAGAL: All right.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Jessi, you're up next. Fill in the blank. President Obama ordered a review of the policy for granting security clearances after the shooting at the blank on Monday.

JESSI KLEIN: The Navy Yard.

SAGAL: ...in Washington, yes.

KLEIN: In Washington.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Investigators determined this week that the fire that destroyed several blocks of New Jersey's blank was accidental.

KLEIN: At the waterfront, the...

SAGAL: It's called the boardwalk...

KLEIN: The boardwalk

SAGAL: ...is what we're looking for.

In a massive salvage operation, crews were able to set the wreck of the blank upright.

KLEIN: Don't know.

SAGAL: The Costa Concordia, the Italian cruise ship.

KLEIN: Oh.

SAGAL: Ty Warner, the creator of the once collectable blank plush toys, was charged with tax evasion this week.

KLEIN: Beanie Babies.

SAGAL: Yes, indeed. He pled guilty.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: A farmer who adopted a stray dog to look after his sheep was disappointed when the dog blanked.

KLEIN: Didn't do it.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The dog he adopted to look after his sheep turned out to be a wolf.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Doesn't that always happen?

The massive search and rescue operation...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...for a woman believed to have fallen down a well in Scotland was called off when police discovered blank.

KLEIN: Haggis everywhere.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No. It's delicious. No, the police discovered the woman wasn't yelling help. She was calling for her dog named Yelp. More than 20 police officers, police dogs and mountain rescue teams were called in to search for the woman who was heard yelling help, help near an abandoned copper mine. Turns out she was just calling for her dog, Yelp, or to use the dog's full kennel club name, Yelp Please Help Me Oh God I Might Die In Here Save Me Save Me Bubbles.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Jessi do on our quiz?

KASELL: Jessi had three correct answers for six more points. She now has eight points, but Roy still has the lead with 12 points.

SAGAL: All right.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: And how many then does Paula need to win?

KASELL: Five correct answers.

SAGAL: Paula.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

SAGAL: This is for the game. Fill in the blank.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah, right.

SAGAL: In an interview released Thursday, blank said the Church should not interfere spiritually with the lives of gays and lesbians.

POUNDSTONE: The pope.

SAGAL: Indeed, Pope Francis.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Janet Yellin is the favorite to take over the Federal Reserve now that blank withdrew his name from consideration.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, Larry Summers.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In an open letter, Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz asked customers to please not bring their blanks to Starbucks.

POUNDSTONE: Their guns.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, a Texas appeals court overturned the 2010 money laundering conviction of former House leader blank.

POUNDSTONE: Tom Delay.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A feral pig at a campsite in Western Australia made news this week when it blanked.

POUNDSTONE: It ate a man.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: It roasted itself.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The pig drank 18 beers and picked a fight with a cow.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Yeah, that was my third guess.

SAGAL: Secret Service officers arrested a Wisconsin man Monday for throwing blanks over the fence at the White House.

POUNDSTONE: For throwing firecrackers?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A woman in South Carolina was arrested for attacking her roommate...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...for blanking.

POUNDSTONE: She wouldn't turn the Eagles off.

KLEIN: That's exactly right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well done, Paula.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: The fight started when Vernett Bader's roommate started playing the Eagles, even though Bader had specifically asked him not to do that. Bader insisted she acted in self defense. When asked by the judge to clarify, her lawyer just said: Sir, it was the Eagles.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, Paula did really well. Did she do well enough to win?

KASELL: She did very well, Peter. Six correct answers, 12 more points for a total of 15 points. So with 15 points, Paula Poundstone is this week's champion.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: There it is. That was done with real confidence, Paula.

POUNDSTONE: Thank you very much. That's the way I roll, Peter.

SAGAL: Apparently.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists, once they conquer death, what will Google do next? But first let me tell you that... Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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