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Lightning Fill In The Blank

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Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now, on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players now has 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Correct answer now worth two points. Carl, can you give us the scores?

CARL KASELL: Well, Tom Bodett and Brian Babylon are tied for first. They both have three points. Kyrie O'Connor has two.

SAGAL: Kyrie?

KYRIE O'CONNOR: Yes?

SAGAL: You are holding up the rear, so you go up first. I'm sure this will not last for long. Here we go, fill in the blank. After it was attacked by a terrorist group, the entire Westgate Mall in blank was being treated as a crime scene.

O'CONNOR: Nairobi.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The last six people who had been missing after the blanks in Colorado were found safe and well this week.

O'CONNOR: Floods.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In a surprise comeback, the Oracle Team USA won the blank on Wednesday.

O'CONNOR: America's Cup.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Residents of a Buffalo, New York neighborhood plagued by skunk odors were surprised when they discovered that blank.

O'CONNOR: That they didn't have any skunks.

SAGAL: No. The police were using a building nearby as a dead skunk depot.

O'CONNOR: Oh.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bud Selig announced Thursday that he's going to retire from his job as blank after the 2014 season.

O'CONNOR: Baseball commissioner.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A choreographer, a paleobotonist and an immigration lawyer were among 24 people named this week as recipients of the blank.

O'CONNOR: MacArthur Genius Grant.

SAGAL: Yes indeed.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Over the past month at least two drivers in Alaska relying on Apple maps GPS have blanked.

O'CONNOR: Fallen into rivers.

SAGAL: No. Driven onto the runway of the Fairbanks Airport.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No one was hurt in either incident.

BRIAN BABYLON: I've done that without Google Maps.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Apple says it was a simple error in their system. The directions were oddly specific. It's like: in 100 feet turn right. Wait 30 seconds for TSA security van to pass...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...hit the gas, bust through the gate. Carl, how did Kyrie do on our quiz?

KASELL: Five correct answers, 10 more points. She now has 12 points and Kyrie has the lead.

SAGAL: Well done. All right.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: You flipped a coin. Brian has elected to go next. So, fill in the blank, Brian. On Thursday, the U.N. Security Council reached an agreement that will dismantle blank's chemical weapons arsenal.

BABYLON: Syria.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Jeff Daniels was among the surprise winners at the blank awards last Sunday.

BABYLON: Emmy's.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Shareholders of Smithfield Foods voted this week to approve the takeover by a company in blank.

BABYLON: China.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The pilot of a Blackhawk helicopter on a rescue mission in Colorado was surprised when he returned to his helicopter and found a blank.

BABYLON: A bear.

SAGAL: No, a parking ticket.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: In a press conference Thursday, the International Olympic Committee dismissed concerns about blank hosting the next Winter Games.

BABYLON: Japan.

SAGAL: No, Russia. The U.S. Army announced this week that it will no longer allow soldiers to get blanks below the elbows or knees.

BABYLON: Tattoos.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A Florida man caused a bit of a stir when he tried to pay his water bill with blank.

BABYLON: Alligators.

SAGAL: No, crack cocaine.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: You know how it is, your bill is due, you don't have any cash, but hey, here's some crack cocaine. Will that do? Deltona Water officials called the police and refused to take the crack cocaine as payment. Usually, it wouldn't have been a problem, but that day they didn't have anything smaller than a kilo of heroin in the cash register...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...so they couldn't make change. Carl, how did Brian Babylon do in our quiz?

KASELL: Brian had four correct answers for eight more points. He now has 11 points, but Kyrie has the lead with 12.

SAGAL: All right. So, then...

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: ...how many does Tom need to win?

KASELL: Five correct answers.

SAGAL: All right. Here we go, Tom. This is for the game. On Thursday, Iranian President Rouhani said he wants a worldwide ban on blank weapons.

TOM BODETT: Nuclear weapons.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, the FBI released footage showing last week's attack on the blank in Washington.

BODETT: The Navy Yard.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: U.S. Airways and American Airlines agreed to extend the deadline for their blank into 2014.

BODETT: Their flight into Philadelphia.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It'll get there some day. Their merger.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: After a massive salvage effort, this week divers recovered victims from the wreckage of the blank.

BODETT: Oh, of the - oh, son of a gun. Blank, blank.

SAGAL: The Costa Concordia. Willie Nelson is asking his fans for their help recovering his stolen blank.

BODETT: Oh, that little airtight container he keeps his smoking materials.

SAGAL: No.

BODETT: No. The bus that he drives it in.

SAGAL: No.

BODETT: The honeysuckle rose.

SAGAL: The...

BODETT: The papers that he rolls it in.

SAGAL: No.

BODETT: Go ahead.

SAGAL: His stuffed toy armadillo.

BODETT: I never would have got that.

SAGAL: I know. The winner of last week's $400 million blank jackpot came forward anonymously this week to claim the money.

BODETT: The Powerball lottery.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: With shortages still a problem, this week the government of Venezuela took over a blank.

BODETT: A gas station. An oil - that little airtight container that Willie Nelson...

(LAUGHTER)

BODETT: ...keeps his...

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: A toilet paper factory. A bear walked into a bar in Alaska but turned around and left after blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

BODETT: I've heard this joke before.

(LAUGHTER)

BODETT: They said we don't serve bears. And he said it's all right. I don't eat them. That's not the joke, right?

SAGAL: No.

BODETT: No, OK.

(LAUGHTER)

BODETT: I've really kind of blown this lightning round but I've had a really good time.

SAGAL: I've enjoyed having you here.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: But...

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: ...you don't know the answer.

BODETT: I really don't.

SAGAL: Bear walks into a bar in Alaska and he leaves when the bartender tells him to get out.

BODETT: Seriously?

SAGAL: Seriously. The bartender noticed the bear making his way in the bar. He said no, bear, get out. No. You can't be in here. The bear was like, OK, man. Look, you know...

BODETT: Hey, when I lived in Alaska, the bears weren't like that.

SAGAL: What were they like?

BODETT: They were belligerent.

SAGAL: Now look.

BODETT: They would have sat down and demand to be served.

SAGAL: Yeah. The bear...

BODETT: And then beat us all at pool.

SAGAL: ...the bear left immediately without incident, but he did write a nasty review on his experience on Yelp.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Carl, did Tom do well enough to win?

KASELL: Tom had three correct answers for six more points. He got his nine points. But with 12 points, make it Kyrie O'Connor as this week's champion.

(APPLAUSE)

KASELL: I knew you'd do it. You always win, Kyrie.

BABYLON: OK, OK, Kyrie.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: In just a minute, a new island has appeared off the coast of Pakistan due to an earthquake. And we'll ask our panelists what'll happen to it? But first, let me tell you that... Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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