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Lightning Fill In The Blank

All the news we couldn't fit anywhere else.

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now on to our final game - Lightning fill in the blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Carl can you give us the scores?

CARL KASELL, BYLINE: Roxanne Roberts has the lead, Peter, she has four points. Paula Poundstone has three, P.J. O'Rourke has two.

SAGAL: P.J. you are in third place. The clock will start when I begin your first question, fill in the blank. On Wednesday the Supreme Court struck down a law limiting overall blank.

O'ROURKE: Campaign contributions.

SAGAL: Right. On Thursday Russia withdrew its ambassador to NATO because of rising tensions over the situation in blank.

O'ROURKE: Ukraine.

SAGAL: Right. Making her first overseas visit in over two years, this week Queen Elizabeth traveled to Rome to meet with blank.

O'ROURKE: Pope.

SAGAL: Right. After the high court said the ban was violating free-speech, Turkey lifted its ban on the social networking site blank.

O'ROURKE: Twitter.

SAGAL: Yes. After complaints, a British researcher has concluded there's nothing to indicate that Lego toys are a blank.

(LAUGHTER)

O'ROURKE: Really painful to step on when you're walking through the playroom.

SAGAL: No, that's true.

O'ROURKE: Without your shoes on.

SAGAL: No, there's nothing to indicate, though, that they are a tool of Satan.

O'ROURKE: Oh, yeah. That either.

SAGAL: After undergoing back surgery, golfer blank announced, he would miss the Master's tournament for the first time since '95.

O'ROURKE: Tiger Woods.

SAGAL: Yes. Many fans were outraged by the series finale for the long-running sitcom, how I blanked to your mother.

O'ROURKE: The answer is met.

SAGAL: Yes. A court stenographer in New York was fired for blanking during a trial.

O'ROURKE: Oh, yeah. Nah, I don't have the slightest idea that.

SAGAL: He was fired for typing, I hate my job, I hate my job over and over again, instead of the transcript of the trial. To be fair, every word he typed was true. Over 30 cases were affected and court officials are asking people involved to try to remember what happened in court.

Sadly, when reading the transcript saying only, I hate my job, most the lawyers involved just said yeah, that's pretty much what I was thinking then too. Carl, how did P.J. do? He seemed to do pretty well.

KASELL: He had six correct answers for 12 more points. He now has 14 points and P.J. has taken the lead.

SAGAL: Well done, P.J.

(APPLAUSE)

KASELL: Won't last long. Won't last long.

SAGAL: OK. I believe that means, Paula, you're up next - fill in the blank. On Monday, South Korea fired back after blank fired artillery shells into disputed waters

PAULA POUNDSTONE: North Korea.

SAGAL: Right. After - over 900,000 people were evacuated after an 8.2 magnitude earthquake struck off the coast of blank on Tuesday.

POUNDSTONE: Chile.

SAGAL: Right. And good news for the ladies it was announced this week that Vladimir Putin's blank is now final.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, his divorce.

SAGAL: Yes. A Texas man applying for a job was unsuccessful when he accidentally included a blank with his resume.

POUNDSTONE: He included an x-ray of his liver.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Close, it was a picture of his anatomy, but not that part. On Thursday, David Letterman announced that he will blank in 2015.

POUNDSTONE: He's retiring.

SAGAL: Yes. This week, Prince William and Kate Middleton released a new photo of themselves posing with blank.

POUNDSTONE: The baby.

SAGAL: The baby, Prince George. Two fugitives running from the law were apprehended in Florida when they blanked.

POUNDSTONE: When they stopped to pay a toll.

SAGAL: Exactly right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

KASELL: Whoa. All right.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: The suspects had led police on a high-speed chase through two counties. If it hadn't been for that lousy tollbooth, they might've gotten away. But what were they supposed to do? Not pay the toll? That's illegal.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Paula do on our quiz?

KASELL: Paula had six correct answers for 12 more points. She now has 15 points and Paula's taken the lead. I told you.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Did you know the answer to the stop to pay the toll?

POUNDSTONE: I saw it.

>>SAGAL. You did, OK.

POUNDSTONE: I mean, I saw it when it happened.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how many then does Roxanne need to win?

KASELL: Six correct answers.

SAGAL: Within your grasp, Roxanne, what do you think?

ROXANNE ROBERTS: Well, there was a study that said...

SAGAL: Alright, Roxanne. Here we go. This is for the game. Garbage floating in the ocean is hampering efforts to locate the missing blank.

ROBERTS: Malaysia Flight 370.

SAGAL: Yes. Military officials are investigating after the second shooting at blank in five years.

ROBERTS: Fort Hood.

SAGAL: Yes. On Tuesday, President Obama called the blank proposed by Paul Ryan a stink burger.

ROBERTS: The budget.

SAGAL: Yes, the federal budget. After complaints from customers, Microsoft said that it would add a start menu to the newest version of blank.

ROBERTS: To Windows.

SAGAL: Yes. The Chicago Cubs found a new way to fail on Tuesday when at least one player blanked during a game against Pittsburgh.

ROBERTS: He fell asleep?

SAGAL: No, he wore the wrong uniform.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Oh. Oh, geez.

SAGAL: A Long Island high school student made news this week when he was admitted to all eight blanks.

ROBERTS: Ivy League schools.

SAGAL: Yes. Working moms were outraged after an interview in which actress blank said their lives are easier than hers.

ROBERTS: Oh which actress - I think it was Gwyneth.

SAGAL: Who else would it be.

ROBERTS: Gwyneth Paltrow, who said, like, movie sets are so tough.

SAGAL: Difficult, difficult, difficult.

KASELL: Aw.

SAGAL: College students in Texas taking Intro to Chemistry were upset when they discovered that their professor had been blanking for months.

ROBERTS: Making meth.

(LAUGHTER)

KASELL: Yeah, almost had to be the answer.

SAGAL: You'd think. No, they were upset when they found their professor had been teaching the wrong class. The students couldn't understand why they were all failing Intro to Chemistry.

POUNDSTONE: It was Intro to French.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It turns out it was a chemistry class, but an advanced chemistry class.

POUNDSTONE: Oh.

KASELL: Oh, I see.

SAGAL: It's been really frustrating, said one student. Its made it really hard to concentrate on reading Huckleberry Finn for my Intro to Shakespeare class.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, did Roxanne do well enough to win?

KASELL: She needed six correct answers, and she had six correct answers.

SAGAL: All right.

KASELL: So she had 16 points. Roxanne Roberts is this week's champion.

She wins again.

SAGAL: She does. In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict what will be the next big recall. But first, let me tell you... Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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