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Suggestions for the Super Bowl

I’d like to see a Super Bowl without the fighter jets…
All screaming ‘cross the super sky, and while we’re at it, let’s

Eliminate the similes where football is like war…
For, heaven help us, we have got the real thing, and what’s more,

I’d like to see the end of celebration of the game
As something patriotic, a conception that’s as lame

As any battered player hobbling on a rebuilt knee…
Who’s trying to convince the league to take a look and see

That though he’s fifty, he should get some help while he’s still here,
Because to any doctor that he visits it is clear

That since his shoulder’s plastic and his hips are made of steel,
And since his brain can not distinguish what’s precisely real,

He should be compensated for the service he put in
As any damaged worker should, for while they sometimes win,

The players much more often lose, and their careers are short.
I’d like to see them organize and take the league to court.

And when the ads appear on Super Sunday, would it be
Too much to hope that we might on occasion get to see

Commercials for a car that doesn’t guzzle gasoline
Or promise that your life will turn quite lavishly obscene

If you go out and buy it, nevermind the monstrous cost…
Without the new and shiny pig, you’re doomed, pathetic, lost.

You’d better buy the right insurance, use the proper bank…
Assuming you can find one not already in the tank.

And while we’re at it, what about the time that’s left to kill
Until the game occurs? I’m sure that everybody will

Hear more about the men who’ll play than people want to hear,
And more about the things they love, and more of what they fear,

And where they get their toenails clipped, and what they like to drink,
And who their parents live beside, and how they often think

Of how to fit the will of God into their weekly plan
To hit the other guy as hard as God decrees they can.

Perhaps these thoughts are treasonous, and I’m perhaps a nut
To say such things about the game so loved by many, but

If that’s the case, perhaps I’ll be converted by the day
The game will happen, since it’s still some time until they play.

This program aired on January 22, 2009. The audio for this program is not available.

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