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They Say Your Team Has A Chance, But You Know It Ain't True

Oh, sing no songs of parity among the football teams.
For that’s a notion lost, as are so many lovely dreams…
From Tennessee to Kansas, From St. Lou to Tampa Bay,
The cries of teams that cannot win, no matter whom they play
Are bouncing off the empty seats, the echoes all called down,
As people turn to basketball or hockey in each town.

Among them, those four teams have won three paltry football games,
And in Detroit and Cleveland, things are pretty much the same.
The Lions stand at one and six, the Browns at one and seven…
And far removed from such despair, in football’s starry heaven,
We find, who else in heaven? But the undefeated Saints…
To me it seems like yesterday they were the lowly Ain’ts…
The Colts stride on unblemished, too, and if you bet a  ton
On Denver’s Broncs, you’ve gambled well, for they are six and one.
So sing a song of parity? Ha! Sing a song of rout…
The best teams are all playoff locks, the worst already out,
And we have just passed Halloween, which cannot seem so sweet,
To pooh-bahs in the NFL, for it is trick or treat
In terms of half the big league teams, which either rarely lose
Or fall each week upon their faces. There’s not much to choose
Between the two extremes, for in a league that’s claimed to be
Triumphant at creating teams that every fan would see
Could hope, from week to week, to win their way into contention…
And halfway through the season, half those teams don’t rate a mention
Except as objects of our pity, beaten, without hope…
To still believe in parity, you’d have to be a dope.

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