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Carroll: It's Harder To Break Other People's Resolutions

This article is more than 10 years old.

It's that time of year when people start to wrestle with their annual list of New Year's resolutions. But take heart: WBUR senior media analyst John Carroll has a revolutionary new approach to that pesky problem.

CARROLL: Of all the dreaded holiday traditions — from "The Little Drummer Boy" to fruitcake — perhaps the most dreaded is the New Year's resolution. That's because the second most dreaded holiday tradition is breaking New Year's resolutions. But there's a solution to that — making New Year's resolutions for other people.

First dibs, of course, should go to president-elect Barack Obama. Resolution #1: whenever you have a meeting with Barney "I'm Not Finished Yet" Frank, bring along a magazine to read. More important, though, is Resolution #2: whenever French president Nicolas Sarkozy phones the White House . . . tell him you'll call right back.

Next up: our outgoing president, George W. Bush, the man who put the Duck! in lame duck.

Bush should resolve to organize a Walk For Freedom with Muntader Al-Zaidi, the Iraqi journalist-slash-footwear flinger who slipped the shoe onto Bush's legacy.

By the way, two words for al-Zaidi: product placement. Just think how much stronger your protest would have been if those pedal projectiles were, say, Crocs.

Speaking of crocks, here's a handy hint for embattled Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich: resolve to get a better poem to hide behind.

First off, what are American poets — chopped liver? Maybe F-Rod should channel Robert Frost — you know, "something there is that does not love a ... prison ... wall."

And speaking of being unloved, alleged Ponzi-schemer Bernard Madoff should resolve to change the pronunciation of his name. When you've made off with that much money, you need a new image for the new year.

John Carroll is senior media analyst for WBUR and a mass communication professor at Boston University.

This program aired on December 30, 2008. The audio for this program is not available.

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