Trouble in the locker room, evil in the air,
Who knows why Gilbert brought the heat and stored his pistols there?
Still, if he’d just stored ‘em, maybe no one knows,
But drawing on a teammate changes everything I ‘spose…
Shootout in Washington? No, the Wizards spared us gore.
It wasn’t for lack of guns, ‘cause Gilbert showed that day with four.
Stories have been rampant, about what happened then,
Was gambling in the mix? I guess it’s maybe 1-10.
In any case, Javaris, another Wizards guy,
Is said to have a bodyguard, don’t even ask me why.
And if the guard was packing heat, that’s what such fellows do,
Reports have said that in that room both basketballers drew…
Shootout in Washington? No, it didn’t come to shots.
Once known as the Bullets, though, this team is rife with shady plots.
In the days that followed, finally Gilbert spoke.
He told the press the gunplay was just his “misguided joke.”
He said that he was sorry for acting like a clown,
And fans were only grateful no one got himself shot down.
Gilbert said the scene that night was nothing like “High Noon,”
He’ll visit the commissioner, and probably fairly soon.
“Joke or not,” he said he knew he’d made a big mistake,
One wondered, in the aftermath what Washington could take,
Sitting in the basement, as bad as they can be,
It seems the Wizards lose two games whenever they play three.
Shootout in Washington? Not as everything turned out…
Still, guns in the locker room, will fill a franchise up with doubt.
Right there on the website of this wobbly Wizards team,
It says the club has character…I guess that they can dream.
Surely they have drama. The Wizards are the ones
Who draw the tabloids to them…It’ll happen, pal, with guns.
Shootout in Washington? Hap’ly none of them got slain.
But guns in locker room? Our games are finally that insane.
This program aired on January 6, 2010. The audio for this program is not available.