Music from the Show

NASCAR Diehards by Drivin’ Sideways (from Drivin’ Sideways, Eagle Records, 1996)

The NASCAR Hall of Fame got the green flag in May, but NASCAR diehards are seeing it as yellow. Perhaps they prefer to earmark future Obama Tax Cut windfalls for cigarettes, booze and lottery tickets. Hey, we’re all drivin’ sideways.

Santa’s Beard by The Beach Boys (from Christmas Harmonies, Capitol, 2009)

It’s where the elves live.

I’ll be There by Elvis Presley (from From Elvis In Memphis, RCA, 1969)

He is alive..and in Las Vegas. Who would’ve guessed?

And here’s the Gift Guide Music for this year’s installment:

Santa Claus’ Party by Les Baxter (from The Best of Christmas Cocktails, Capitol, 2007)

You gotta love the line: “You may be sure that rich and poor are welcome at Santa’s door”. Sure, Santa…make all the little poor kids trudge through the Artic wastelands to the North Pole just for a silly old NERF N-Strike Stampede ECS Blaster or an Imaginext Bigfoot the Monster remote control robot. Nice.

Here Comes Santa Claus by Spike Jones (from Let’s Sing A Song of Christmas, Verve, 1998)

What can’t this guy do? From a bandleader specializing in satirical arrangements of popular songs to award-winning director of Being John Malkovich and Where the Wild Things Are, among other films, his career has spanned from the 1940’s to the current time. Amazing!

Am I missing something here?

Joltin’ Joe Dimaggio by Les Brown and His Orchestra (from Baseball’s Greatest Hits, Rhino, 1989)

Not usually thought of as a Christmas ditty, but then again it’s not every Noel that some profit seeker places actual pages of The Yankee Clipper’s diary up for sale as stocking stuffers.

Santa Baby by The Yuletide Lounge Band (from Martinis and Mistletoe: Cool Tunes for Your Christmas Cocktail Party, LaserLight, 2002)

Let’s celebrate the lost art of liner notes!

On the back cover of this bargain collection of paeans to the Yuletide’s mixological delights, the parched listener is invited to “Take a seat under the mistletoe at the Holiday Martini Lounge, where cufflinks chatter and Chanel No. 5 permeates the air amid sounds of jazzy guitar, upright bass, ringing vibraphone and a devilish flute”. Sounds pretty near to heaven to me.

Now, if that invitation were to be extended every day of the whirling year, and should that invitation always be gratefully accepted, wouldn’t the world be a better, if not ideal, place?

White Christmas by Twisted Sister (from A Twisted Christmas, Razor and Tie, 2006)

This is from the 1984 Bing Crosby TV Christmas Special, I think. I hadn’t known the Baron von Bingenheimer could shred like that.

Fruitcake by the Superions (from Destination…Christmas!, Fanatic Records, 2010)

The Superions are Fred Schneider’s latest project. This time, he’s collaborated with a group of musicians that allow him to broaden his vocal range, and …

No, I can’t go through with it. I can’t mock Fred Schneider.

Carol of the Bells by Family Force 5 (from Family Force 5’s Christmas Pageant, Family Force 5, 2009)

I hadn’t thought that any artist could ever find a way to make this curiously popular seasonal annoyance any worse than it already is. But big, fat, honking kudos to this “Christian crunk-rock band” for pulling it off. Oy…

Funky, Funky Christmas by Electric Jungle (from Funky Funky Chicago, Funky Delicacies, 2006)

I don’t know what to say about this song, except that it’s funky funky funky. And funky, too.