"The Whore of Akron"

LeBron James' departure from the Cleveland Cavaliers was so cruel it seemed almost designed to anguish and embarrass his hometown supporters. "King James" announced his move to Miami on an ESPN program dramatically entitled "The Decision," which highlighted 50 years of Cleveland sports inadequacy. Scott Raab chronicles his own resentment of the NBA star in his new book, The Whore of Akron: One Man's Search for the Soul of Lebron James.

Raab, a 59-year-old, 350-lb.,  long-time Esquire writer, bore witness to LeBron's every move during his seven-year stint in Cleveland. In The Whore of Akron, Raab details his sense of betrayal upon LeBron's decision to leave the city that, according to the author, made him a star.

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Bill's thoughts on The Whore of Akron:

Scott Rabb doesn't pull any punches.

He also doesn't pull any D-cell batteries or cinder blocks. At one point in The Whore of Akron, he wishes somebody in the crowd would throw at least one of each at LeBron James.

Rabb's gripe is that Cleveland sports fans, one of whom is he, have endured more than enough pain. More, in fact, than Job. He is especially angry at LeBron James for failing to lead the Cavaliers to an NBA championship, having promised that it was his mission to do so. He resents the way James occupied an hour a TV time to render his "DECISION" to stick it to Cleveland fans by decamping for Miami. His kindest take on LeBron is that "King James" is a cartoon. Rabb cheerfully admits that he was pleased to see James fail utterly in the 2011 finals against the Mavericks.

The Whore of Akron is about what it's like to be a fan of the Cleveland teams, but it's also about what it's like to be Scott Rabb, a fellow who writes that "being Jewish and being a Cleveland sports fan have always felt to me like the same thing." The book is very funny. It is also wise. It is also not for everybody, since the stuff about the D-cell battery and the cinder block is tame compared to some other stuff about a tire iron and what Raab wishes on Art Modell, LeBron James, and various other people whom Raab regards as treacherous and deserving of torture, even after they die.

That having been said, if you've a taste for the sort of overstatement Raab shares with the late, great Hunter S. Thompson, this is perhaps the sports book for you, as long as you keep it on a shelf the kids can't reach.