If mice could pick up baseball bats
And wear those great big baseball hats
Could they be playing for the Cubs?
If not as starters, then as subs?
I wonder, too, if kangaroos,
If they were wearing baseball shoes,
Could help the Dodgers as they roam
And hop and bounce from third to home?
[sidebar title="More Baseball Musings" width="200" align="right"]In a recent column, Bill Littlefield unveiled a new mathematical principle: The value of lost baseball card collections rises exponentially regardless of reality. [/sidebar]The Giants also might prevail
More often then they'd likely fail
If sometimes in the batter's box
They could employ a quick, brown fox.
(Don't say they shouldn't do it ever.
Foxes, I am told, are clever.)
The Pirates, when they make a switch
And need somebody else to pitch,
Might find a monkey to replace
A tired or unhappy ace.
But could a chimp be taught to throw
A ball where it would have to go
To lead the ump to shout out, "Strike!"
Or shriek it, if she were a shrike.
I'd like to see in left a frog
They'd rescued from a swampy bog.
With luck a stork might find a place
At first or third or second base,
While someone playing in left field
Could someday be convinced to yield
His spot to some four-legged pup
Who'd chase the ball and chew it up.
This is the harmless game I play
To get me through a rain delay.
This program aired on May 9, 2012. The audio for this program is not available.