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Grief At A Distance: How Coronavirus Has Changed The Way We Mourn47:10
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A mourner, wearing a mask and gloves, says her goodbyes after placing dirt in the casket of Ghulam Merzazada at the National Memorial park cemetery in Fairfax, Virginia on May 14, 2020. (ANDREW CABALLERO-REYNOLDS/AFP via Getty Images)
A mourner, wearing a mask and gloves, says her goodbyes after placing dirt in the casket of Ghulam Merzazada at the National Memorial park cemetery in Fairfax, Virginia on May 14, 2020. (ANDREW CABALLERO-REYNOLDS/AFP via Getty Images)

This program originally aired on May 21, 2020.


Mourning the loss of a loved one in the time of coronavirus. We talk about Zoom funerals and bereavement at a distance.

Guests

Thomas Lynch, writer, poet and undertaker. With his family, he runs Lynch and Sons Funeral Directors. Author of several books, including "The Undertaking: Life Studies from a Dismal Trade" and "The Depositions: New and Selected Essays on Being and Ceasing to Be."

Nora McInerny, writer and host of the podcast “Terrible, Thanks for Asking.” Co-founder of Still Kickin, a non-profit in Minneapolis. Co-founder of the "Hot Young Widows Club," an online support group for those who have lost loved ones.
Author of several books, including the memoir "No Happy Endings."
(@noraborealis)

From The Reading List

New York Times: "Opinion: Grieving Shouldn’t Be a Privilege" — "My friend Moe was back at work a week after her husband, Andrew, hanged himself by the Mississippi River, just a few miles from their home in northeast Minneapolis."

The Cut: "A Wrench in the Gears of the Grief Machine How do I mourn with members of my faith if I can’t be with them?" — "Death is a busy thing. Or it was, in the before. Usually, when a member of my congregation dies, it triggers an intricate choreography of people swirling around the grieving family getting the things-that-need-doing done."

TAPS: "Grieving vs. Mourning" — "I often remind myself that there is no love without loss. And there is no integration of loss without the experience of mourning."

The Atlantic: "All the Things We Have to Mourn Now" — "As of this writing, the coronavirus pandemic has killed more than 50,000 people in the United States and more than 200,000 people worldwide. These deaths’ inevitable companion is grief, but the turmoil of the pandemic is altering and interrupting the normal course of mourning. People are experiencing many different kinds of loss simultaneously—some of them unique to or changed by this moment in history."

Washington Post: "Almost 90,000 dead and no hint of national mourning. Are these deaths not ‘ours’?" — "Over the course of a week, as the national death toll from covid-19 marched steadily toward 90,000, President Trump returned repeatedly to the idea that America is at war with the coronavirus."

American Psychological Association: "Grief and COVID-19: Saying goodbye in the age of physical distancing" — "Every culture has its own customs and rituals for mourning loved ones. Whether it’s sitting shiva, lining up for a New Orleans-style jazz procession or a sharing a meal with loved ones after a secular memorial service, virtually every custom shares a key element: social connection."

Psychology Today: "How to Cope with Bereavement During the COVID-19 Pandemic" — "Bereavement is a painful, stressful, and difficult journey at the best of times. But grieving the loss of a loved one may be especially challenging during the COVID-19 pandemic."

CNBC: "How to cope with grief during the COVID-19 pandemic" — "The COVID-19 pandemic has dramatically altered everyone’s daily lives, including how people grieve the loss of a loved one."

CDC: "Funeral Guidance for Individuals and Families" — "Grieving the loss of a loved one during the fear and anxiety about the COVID-19 pandemic can be overwhelming. It may be difficult for people to make decisions about how to safely grieve and honor their loved one. This guidance is for individuals and families as they work with funeral directors, community and religious leaders, and others to plan and hold funeral services and visitations during the COVID-19 pandemic."

This program aired on July 7, 2020.

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