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Can A Sexual Assault Survivor Love A Rapist?29:39Download

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The Stanford rape case swept headlines last month and reignited a national conversation on sexual assault. It resonated with countless people in deeply personal and painful ways.

The Sugars respond to a letter they received during the flurry of media attention on the case. The writer — who calls herself "Survivor, Lover, Feminist" — has just been told by her long-time partner and best friend that, when he was in high school, he got "black-out drunk" and raped a girl who was drunk and unconscious. "Survivor, Lover, Feminist" is, herself, a survivor of sexual assault. She asks the Sugars if rapists can truly be reformed and how she can justify loving one.

The Sugars discuss the letter with writer Roxane Gay, author of the essay collection Bad Feminist.


Show Notes

[5:50] Roxane Gay, Purdue University.

[21:19] "The Girl on the Plane," Mary Gaitskills, "Because They Wanted To," 1997.


New episodes of Dear Sugar Radio are released weekly.

Amory Sivertson Twitter Associate Producer for New Programming
Amory Sivertson is an associate producer for new programming at WBUR. She's one of the producers of Modern Love: The Podcast.

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