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Lightning Fill In The Blank

All the news we couldn't fit anywhere else.

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now, on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as he or she can, each correct answer now worth two points. Carl, can you give us the scores?

CARL KASELL: Roxanne Roberts has the lead, Peter. She has five points. Brian Babylon and Bobcat Goldthwait are tied for second, they both have two points.

SAGAL: OK. Well...

BRIAN BABYLON: How is that possible?

SAGAL: I don't know.

(LAUGHTER)

BOBCAT GOLDTHWAIT: Why are you insulted that you're tied with me?

(LAUGHTER)

GOLDTHWAIT: How is that possible?

(LAUGHTER)

GOLDTHWAIT: He was in "Police Academy" for god's sakes.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well, we have flipped a coin. Bobcat's elected to go second. So Brian, you're up first.

BABYLON: OK.

SAGAL: The clock will start when I begin your question. Fill in the blank.

President Obama appointed Joe Biden to lead a task force to combat blank violence.

BABYLON: Automatic weapons.

SAGAL: Yeah, gun violence. We'll take it.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In a huge shift for Wall Street, on Thursday the blank agreed to an $8.2 billion takeover.

BABYLON: The Exchange.

SAGAL: Yes, the New York Stock Exchange.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: NBC journalist Richard Engel and his crew were freed from captivity after being taken hostage last week in blank.

BABYLON: Syria.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, South Korea elected its first ever blank president.

BABYLON: Lady.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Tired of waiting for his food at a Denny's, this week a man in Texas blanked before storming out.

BABYLON: He went back and cooked his food.

SAGAL: No, he lit the Denny's Christmas tree on fire.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Best known for his contentious and unsuccessful Supreme Court nomination, blank died this week at age 85.

BABYLON: Robert Bork.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Hoping to improve sales figure, fast food giant blank sent a memo asking franchises to stay open on Christmas this year.

BABYLON: I would say Arby's.

SAGAL: No, it's McDonald's. Arby's?

A store in North Carolina has come under fire because critics say its Christmas tree is just a blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

BABYLON: Its Christmas tree is just a pole.

KASELL: No, it's just a pile of tires.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The North Carolina tire store stacked up tires in a vaguely tree-like shape, put on Christmas lights and put a star on top. The town doesn't like it, because tires plus lights means you get a rubber fire for Christmas.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Anyway, if you like the idea, remember, it does not work both ways: Replacing your tires with Christmas trees results in a loss of traction.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Brian do?

KASELL: Brian had five correct answers, for ten more points. He now has 12 points, and Brian has taken the lead.

SAGAL: All right.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Bobcat, you are up next. Please fill in the blank. Four State Department officials resigned this week following the release of a report about the attack on the consulate in blank.

GOLDTHWAIT: Pass.

SAGAL: Benghazi.

GOLDTHWAIT: Benghazi, yeah.

SAGAL: For the second time in four years, Time Magazine named blank as the person of the year.

GOLDTHWAIT: Obama.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After fainting and sustaining a concussion while recovering from a stomach virus, blank worked from home this week.

GOLDTHWAIT: Hillary Clinton.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A court in England has directed the local character known as "the Naked Rambler" to please blank.

GOLDTHWAIT: Put on clothes.

SAGAL: Put on underwear, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Hundreds of flights were cancelled after a massive snowstorm hit the upper blank on Thursday.

GOLDTHWAIT: Deck.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Midwest, Midwest, where we are now. According to inside sources, the FTC antitrust investigation into the search engine blank is likely to continue into next year.

GOLDTHWAIT: Google.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A Florida woman arrived home last week to find her blank had been stolen.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

GOLDTHWAIT: Mobile home.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No, her entire driveway. Rachel McCarty first suspected something was wrong during the extremely bumpy drive up to her house. But it wasn't until she got out of the car that she realized her entire 300 square foot brick driveway had been stolen. She actually posted "lost driveway" signs with pictures of it around the neighborhood, but it wasn't until the thieves returned for her lawn that they were caught. Carl, how did Bobcat do on our quiz?

KASELL: Bobcat had four correct answers, for eight more points. He now has ten points, but Brian Babylon still has the lead with 12.

SAGAL: All right. So then how many does Roxanne Roberts need to win?

KASELL: Four correct answers.

SAGAL: All right. Here we go, Roxanne, for the game. Fill in the blank. On Monday, members of the Electoral College met and officially cast the votes electing blank to a second term.

ROXANNE ROBERTS: Barack Obama.

SAGAL: That was a hard one.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to press reports, President Obama is likely to nominate blank to replace Hillary Clinton as secretary of state.

ROBERTS: John Kerry.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After it announced that user information and pictures could be sold to advertisers, users of blank began deleting their accounts.

ROBERTS: Instagram.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A former McDonald's employee in Wales was awarded a $5,000 settlement after she was fired for blanking.

ROBERTS: For squeezing ketchup from the wrong end of the...

SAGAL: No, she was fired for putting too many sprinkles on a McFlurry. Fans of the Apocalypse were sorely disappointed when they woke up Saturday to discover the world blanked.

ROBERTS: Had not ended.

SAGAL: Isn't that a disappointment?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Breaking with tradition, this week Queen Elizabeth issued an invitation to blank's parents to be the first non-royals ever to attend the royal family's Christmas celebration.

ROBERTS: Kate Middleton's.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

ROBERTS: To gauge the safety of its onboard wife, Boeing is doing test flights using blanks as passengers.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

ROBERTS: Crash test dummies.

SAGAL: No, potatoes.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The problem is they want to test the wi-fi and to find out how people in the plane interfere with the wi-fi signal. It turns out that big sacks of potatoes are chemically similar enough to people that they provide the same level of interference.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So they've used a program - and this is true- they call it SPUDS, Synthetic Personnel Using Dielectric Substitution. And they've been flying these potatoes around. They love it.

It turns out not only do potatoes sit there quietly and don't ask to be paid, but they don't complain about the lack of food in coach. They keep seated with their seatbelts on when the sign is on, and they never give you grief about turning off their cell phones. Carl, did Roxanne do well enough to win?

KASELL: She needed four correct answers, but Roxanne had five correct answers. So with 15 points, Roxanne Roberts is this week's champion.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Well done. We kind of saw that coming, Roxanne.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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