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Limericks

Carl reads three news-related limericks: Pay Up, Sealed with a Kiss, A Real Dive.

Transcript

TOM BODETT, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank, but first it's rhyme time, the word weary Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play along at home you really should consider getting out of the house more.

(LAUGHTER)

BODETT: If you want to play on air, call 1-888-Wait-Wait, that's 1-888-924-8924. Or, click the contact us link on our website waitwait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago and our show next week, April 4th at the Coronado Theater in Rockford, Illinois. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

JIM COLLINS: Hi, Tom. My name is Jim Collins.

BODETT: Hi, Jim. Where are you calling us from?

COLLINS: I'm calling you from Hamburg, Michigan.

BODETT: Hamburg. You know, I grew up in Michigan. I don't know where Hamburg is.

ADAM FELBER: Germany.

COLLINS: Hamburg is about 15 miles north of Ann Arbor.

BODETT: Oh, yeah, yeah, that's right. So what do you do there in Hamburg?

COLLINS: I'm kind of retired.

BODETT: Kind of retired.

COLLINS: Yeah. My last job was I was driving a truck. I was delivering steel beams.

BODETT: All right, well that's good hardy work.

COLLINS: Yes, it was.

BODETT: Do you miss it?

COLLINS: Not very much.

BODETT: No?

(LAUGHTER)

BODETT: All right, well, welcome to the show, Jim.

COLLINS: Thank you.

BODETT: You know the drill. The one and only Carl Kasell is going to read you three limericks about this week's news, with the last word left for you to figure out. Get it right on two of the limericks and you're in the big time. Here's your first limerick.

CARL KASELL: We shop owners tend to agree; to look around shouldn't be free. So hand us five bucks while perusing our stock. All browsers must now pay a?

COLLINS: Fee.

BODETT: Fee, exactly.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

BODETT: A specialty food store in Brisbane, Australia is tired of people coming in, looking around and then ordering the same products on Amazon, a practice known as "show rooming." So they've instituted a $5 browsing fee. Now, we understand they need to protect their business, but any fool knows what you do is welcome them in and then charge them a five bucks to leave.

(LAUGHTER)

BODETT: All right, Jim, here's your next limerick.

KASELL: To lick glue and get postage quite damp, I write cards until my hand gets a cramp. To save surface mail, Belgian plans will not fail. They put chocolate on every?

COLLINS: Stamp.

BODETT: Stamp, exactly.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

BODETT: Sending mail is one of the few things left that we do that doesn't make us fat. Well, the Belgian postal service has fixed that.

(LAUGHTER)

BODETT: They've developed chocolate stamps. These new postage stamps come coated with coco powder, which you lick off before sticking on a letter someone else will have to touch.

(LAUGHTER)

BODETT: All right, very good, Jim. You've got two correct. Let's go for the victory lap. Here's you're last limerick.

KASELL: A germ-o-phobe might be a jumpster, and a food critic might be a grumpster. There's a real strong bouquet at our all new trash café. We serve food that we found in a?

COLLINS: Dumpster.

BODETT: Dumpster, that's right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

BODETT: Hoping to shed that freshman 15? You might consider eating at Tuft student Maximu Thaler's on-campus café: Gleanor's Kitchen. The restaurant only serves food found in trashcans around Somerville, some of the better trashcans in the greater Boston area, by the way. The café probably won't win a James Beard award, but local hobo Bearded Jim just loves the place.

(LAUGHTER)

BODETT: Carl, how did Jim do?

KASELL: Jim had three correct answers. So Jim, you win our prize. Congratulations.

COLLINS: Thank you.

(APPLAUSE)

BODETT: Jim, thanks for playing.

COLLINS: My pleasure. Thank you, Tom.

BODETT: Bye now.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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