The Tale Of Tom Brady's Jersey

Once upon a time, and the time was right after the Super Bowl, the jersey worn by the game’s most valuable player went missing.

The jersey’s value is beyond calculation. It had absorbed the sweat of Tom Brady. It is the Hope Diamond of football jerseys. And it was gone.

Once upon another time, which was Monday, it turned out the culprit was a Mexican journalist. In at least one particularly fictional world view, that made him a bad hombre, and also an enemy of the people.

The thief had gotten into the locker room where Tom Brady’s jersey hung with a press credential, though he’d bragged that he wasn’t actually working at the game. Bad hombre. Ask any working journalist.

In the best of worlds, upon some future time, the recovered jersey will be auctioned, and the money will go to a charity.

But upon this particular time, the villainy of a Mexican journalist might encourage some people to swallow the particular world view I mentioned earlier, which would be a shame. That’s why I wish Tom Brady’s shirt had been snatched by a guy who runs a hedge fund and used to work for Goldman Sachs.