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Cognoscenti contributor Erika Fine was on the subway earlier this week when a breaking news alert flashed across the screen of her phone. The headline read: “Trump calls for U.S. to bar all Muslims from entering the country.” Hours later, she wrote the following verse in response.
“The Donald” is a demagogue,
A xenophobic camera hog.
“Pack your bags and go away.
Stay outside the U.S.A.!”
That’s his anti-terror plan --
A Muslim inbound-travel ban.
The theme of Trump’s extreme regime
Brings to mind another scheme --
Internment for the Japanese
To “make us safe” and cure unease.
But help! We face a larger threat,
A bigger group we need to vet:
White Christian men who live alone
Are sadly more than Muslims prone
To kill and maim in random acts.
You don’t believe me? Check the facts!
And deadlier than all the others
Are white men living with their mothers!
So round 'em up and ship 'em out
We’ll all be safer, have no doubt!
What, you think that’s not allowed?
We’ve learned from Trump; we won’t be cowed!
We’ll put them in a DATAbase!
We’ll make I.D.s that show their face!
For those still living with their moms --
It’s not just guns; they’re into bombs!
For them a smart computer chip
Will catch them at a faster clip!
Our database will flag a name
And then in pulsing text proclaim,
“This loner guy is very white
He’ll take his gun and find a site --
A movie, church, perhaps a school --
Don’t let a shotgun be his tool!”
Oh, you interrupted me
You say you strongly disagree?
You say a person’s lawful right
To keep and bear a gun’s airtight?
You say a no-fly guy can buy
A gun because we can’t deny
His right to cherish and adore
A weapon meant for waging war?
The NRA’s influenced you
With voodoo through Amendment Two!
Your fetish for that fitful clause
Would give the Founding Fathers pause.
In fact, they’d rise as one and say,
“You’re off the mark now, NRA!”
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