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By Tania Khadder (NPR)
My heart skips a beat every time I hear that trusty Nokia ringtone. I'm just a little disappointed when I see that it's only mom or dad. Or my best friend.
When the phone doesn't ring, I keep checking to make sure it's working … that it's not out of batteries … that nothing could stop someone from getting through.
Yes, I am waiting for a guy to call. But not just any guy - a potential employer.
And while this would-be professional relationship bears no resemblance to a romantic one - I'm not that desperate yet — the agony of waiting for him to call is the same.
The interview went so well. The conversation flowed nicely. We talked, not just about my professional qualifications, but about our shared love of indie rock, weekend aways, and the perfect mixed drink. He even introduced me to some of his colleagues.
The meeting offered a glimmer of hope amidst my days of obsessively checking email, blogging, searching the meager job boards and watching mind-numbing daytime television.
But now, as I wait impatiently for that phone call, I find myself reliving our encounter over and over again in my mind, searching for any sign of weakness or lack of chemistry.
Maybe I didn't know enough about widgets, plugins or other web 2.0 jargon. Or maybe things just got too familiar, too fast.
I can't help wondering if there's someone else. Someone who speaks C++ or Java Script. Someone younger or more confident. Someone better than me.
And I wonder if, instead of waiting for him to call, I should call him again. It's important to show interest, right? But I don't want to seem desperate or annoying.
I keep making excuses for him. Maybe work's really busy. Maybe there's been a family emergency. Maybe he just needs more time.
But I can only fool myself for so long. As people lose their jobs daily, I know he has his pick of talent. I need to get back out there and keep my options open. Because, of course, a more likely explanation for his silence is … he's just not that into me.
Commentator Tania Khadder blogs about life in the slow lane at Unemploymentality.com
This program aired on March 16, 2009. The audio for this program is not available.
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