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Super Bowl Haiku XXVI

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(ANGELA WEISS/AFP via Getty Images)
(ANGELA WEISS/AFP via Getty Images)

Nine of the past 19 Super Bowls have featured the New England Patriots.

But not this year. That was cause for lament in New England … and celebration around the rest of the football world.

In anticipation of Only A Game’s annual Super Bowl Haiku extravaganza, poets submitted dozens and dozens of haiku about a Super Bowl without Brady and Belichick. We could have done a whole segment on those alone. But we won’t. Because this year’s Super Bowl features the Kansas City Chiefs and the San Francisco 49ers. They deserve the glory.

And so, in that spirit, we present Super Bowl Haiku XXVI:

The snacks are ready
I'm in my favorite chair
Bring on your haiku!
(Guy Burney)

(Jeff Swensen/Getty Images)
(Jeff Swensen/Getty Images)

The big day is here.
The crowd in a frenzy for
Punxsutawney Phil.
(Guy and Vicki Stevens)

Chiefs fans remember
Their team in the Super Bowl
If they're really old
(Bill Littlefield)

It's the Super Bowl
It has all come to this game
Sadly, one will win
(Matthew, Grade 9, Mrs. Suttle's Sports Literature class in Newark, Ohio)

Super Bowl Sunday
My team was out in Week 8
Somehow I still care
(Bruce Rohrs)

Super Bowl 5-4.
But the league is 100.
Where are missing games?
(Gary Waleik)

“I vote for team red!”
“The Chiefs or Niners? Which one?”
“Both. Both ways I’ll win”
(Newington Public Schools 6th grader)

(Logan Riely/Getty Images)
(Logan Riely/Getty Images)

How does this sport work?
I listen to NPR.
Inskeep, please explain!
(Allan Telio)

Nine years old, and I
played the Super Bowl daily
in back yard, alone
(Rick Neubauer)

I watch funny ads,
cute ads, sad ads, heartfelt ads.
Why is there a ball?
(Sharon Duke)

I don't care who wins,
or who sings big halftime show.
It's only a game.
(Paul Mushrush)

Bono, Britney, Prince
Only the best play four times:
It's Up With People
(Ian Hoffman)

Quarterback yelling
Pigskin sailing for long yards
A fan drops his beer.
(Allan Rosenbaum)

(Matthew Mead/AP)
(Matthew Mead/AP)

Pats fans watch Niners …
Think: “How come we can’t get a
quarterback like that?”
(Bill Littlefield)

It looks neck-and-neck
Barbecue versus big tech
I’m rooting for ribs
(Cameron Steeples)

We love chicken wings
Every super bowl we eat
Millions of them.
(Newington Public Schools 5th grader)

We all know football
Is for the chicken wings but
Football’s the excuse
(Newington Public Schools 6th grader)

(Larry Crowe/AP)
(Larry Crowe/AP)

Avocado, salt,
lime juice, garlic, onion. Mash.
Guacamole Bowl!
(Ian Hoffman)

Sea of red will part
One team will reach promised land
The other, limbo
(Scott Suma)

Patrick and Jimmy
Scrambling, slinging, fist pumping.
Final score? A lot.
(Gary Waleik)

Head Coach of the Kansas City Chiefs Andy Reid. (Mark Brown/Getty Images)
Head Coach of the Kansas City Chiefs Andy Reid. (Mark Brown/Getty Images)

The Chiefs will not win
They will lose to the miners
History repeats
(Scott Suma)

Andy’s walrus ‘stache
Hides pain of disappointment
Shave off after win?
(J. Beverly)

Unfortunately,
Super Bowl haiku all done
Let’s change the station
(Chuck Kramer and Liz Granados)

This segment aired on February 1, 2020.

Headshot of Gary Waleik

Gary Waleik Producer, Only A Game
Gary Waleik is a producer for Only A Game.

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