Lovers Week is a series of events during the week of Valentine's Day destined to make your heart ache, flip, burn and swoon as we explore love lost, love gained and everything that happens in between.
In the United States, 41% of first marriages and 60% of second marriages end in divorce. Two thirds of divorced couples go on to remarry. Cognoscenti, WBUR’s ideas and opinions team, hosted a discussion exploring love, loss and how divorce has evolved over the decades.
Therapist and divorce expert Oona Metz shared her advice for navigating divorce and coming out the other side; essayist Scaachi Koul recounted her own divorce which took place at the same time she lost her job and her mother was diagnosed with cancer; and author Nicole Graev Lipson untangled the many challenges facing women navigating marriage and motherhood. Morning Edition host Tiziana Dearing moderated the discussion.
About “Unhitched”
Navigate the emotional side of divorce and emerge stronger, more confident and ready to thrive with this essential guide for women.
“Unhitched” inspires women to use their divorce as a transformational opportunity for growth and self-discovery. Nationally recognized divorce expert and therapist Oona Metz provides a compassionate yet practical roadmap through every stage of the divorce process. Whether making the decision to end a marriage, coping during separation, dealing with the rollercoaster of emotions, coparenting or navigating life after divorce, this book offers a wealth of psychological tools to guide you forward.
With over thirty years of experience supporting women as they navigate divorce, Metz weaves together practical guidance, relatable vignettes and engaging exercises to help make the journey through divorce less overwhelming and more empowering. Topics include:
-The five phases of divorce grief
-Establishing separation boundaries
-Supporting children through the process
-Rediscovering your identity and confidence
-Exploring new relationships post-divorce
Filled with key takeaways, reassuring insights and inclusive stories tailored for women in both heterosexual and LGBTQ+ relationships, “Unhitched” offers a reassuring guide to life before, during and after divorce.
About “Sucker Punch”
Scaachi Koul’s first book was a collection of raw, perceptive and hilarious essays reckoning with the issues of race, body image, love, friendship and growing up the daughter of immigrants. When the time came to start writing her next book, Scaachi assumed she’d be updating her story with essays about her elaborate four-day wedding, settling down to domestic bliss and continuing her never-ending arguments with her parents. Instead, the Covid-19 pandemic hit, Scaachi’s marriage fell apart, she lost her job and her mother was diagnosed with cancer.
“Sucker Punch” is about what happens when the life you thought you’d be living radically changes course, everything you thought you knew about the world and yourself has tilted on its axis and you have to start forging a new path forward. Scaachi employs her biting wit to interrogate her previous belief that fighting is the most effective tool for progress. She examines the fights she’s had ― with her parents, her ex-husband, her friends, online strangers and herself ― all in an attempt to understand when a fight is worth having, and when it's better to walk away.
About “Mothers and Other Fictional Characters”
What does it take to escape the plotlines mapped onto us? Searching for clues in the work of her literary foremothers, Lipson untangles what it means to be a girl, a woman, a lover, a partner, a daughter and a mother in a world all too ready to reduce us to stock characters. Whether she’s testing the fragile borders of fidelity, embracing the taboo power of female friendship, escaping her family for the solitude of the mountains, grappling with what to do with her frozen embryos or letting go of the children she imagined for the ones she’s raising, Lipson pushes beyond the easy, surface stories we tell about ourselves to brave less certain territory.
As Lipson journeys through this thorny terrain, literature becomes her lodestar. Kate Chopin’s erotic story “The Storm” helps her reckon with the longings stirring below the surface of her marriage. Watching her son absorb the stifling codes of manhood, she finds unlikely parenting inspiration in Philip Roth’s most cartoonish overbearing mother. Summoning Gwendolyn Brooks, she asks, Can destroying one’s frozen embryos be understood as a maternal act? And accompanied by Shakespeare’s gender-bending heroine Rosalind, she seizes on the truest meaning of loving her oldest child. Risky and revealing, nourishing and affirming, rigorous and sexy, “Mothers and Other Fictional Characters” is a shimmering love letter to our forgotten selves — and the ones we’re still becoming.