To buy or not to buy? Holiday gifting etiquette

When it comes to holiday gift-giving, intention matters more than anything, says The Cut’s shopping editor Bianca Nieves.

For the procrastinators panicking as the holidays approach, Nieves says to step back and consider if your loved one needs a gift.

“If you're a procrastinator at the end of shipping season, you don't want to miss your mark. You're kind of freaking out,” Nieves says. “Remember the end goal is for your loved one to be seen.”

What do you think about making agreements to forgo gifts?

“I say it's okay not to gift. Again, the holiday season is more about connecting with you and your loved ones. I totally understand as things get more expensive, friend groups grow, family members also grow, and everything can really add up. If the connection is real, they will understand.

“I also believe that you can gift outside of the usual tentpole events. So, maybe you don't gift anything now in Christmas, but your sister-in-law said they loved this one specific item and lo and behold. It goes back to the key elements of gifting that you saw something and it reminded you of that person, you know they already will love it. And it doesn't become that extra thing or that forceful gift I feel like you have to like to give because it's the holiday season.”

Is there a cost to not giving, relationship-wise?

“Oh, 100%, and I feel like that's when you also have to shift the mentality of the type of gift you're giving. Sometimes an experience. Not all experiences cost money. It's really getting to know your person and really letting them know that it might not be like a physical gift all wrapped up with a bow, but that they're still in your thoughts.”

What are your thoughts on gift cards?

“I am pro gift cards. We even have a gift card roundup on our site. I can totally understand how they appear lazy. If you know they don't like gift cards, don't give them a gift card. If it's a brand they love and they're constantly purchasing something from, maybe that's when a gift card is helpful because you know they already spent so much money on this brand or like in this item or what have you. And I'm sure they would appreciate that.

“If you're still on the fence of a gift card and you missed all the shipping deadlines, I say the gift card cousin is a subscription service. Nowadays there's a ton and for every type of interest, so whether they're a book lover or budding chefs or wine connoisseurs, I'm pretty sure you can find a subscription service.”

What about a utility gift, something you already know someone uses like their favorite moisturizer? 

“It just shows that you're keeping an eye on that person during the year. I'm sure they'll be incredibly happy that they don't have to spend money, and they have enough in stock. And also, I feel like that mentality is a great mentality to have when it comes to all these other gifting moments that happen during the season, like a white elephant or the office gift exchange or whatnot. Just think about something people really use often and buy that or like a slightly elevated version of that.”

What happens if you’re participating in a Secret Santa and you pull the name of someone you don’t know very well?

“Then you panic a little bit because that's only natural. And you’re allowed to complain a little bit as well.

“Think about something that everybody kind of uses. It can be like an olive oil. Olive oil is kind of expensive, but there are some fancy ones that are under $20 now or like a jar opener. That would be really good. If they're into beauty, I think beauty gift sets are really good because it allows them to test out other products that they don't necessarily have time to try out. Or even like a candlewick trimmer or an electric lighter, those little things that you might have a set of matches, but it just elevates the item a little bit more.”

Is there one gift that’s a hit no matter what? 

" I say a candle is always nice because even if they do tend to be allergic right now, so many brands have so many different types of options that they might not use it like in their room. And it just sets the mood a little bit more and it goes with the cozy vibes of the holiday season.”