What to do if you get fired

This story is part of our mental health series. Find out more here.

Thousands of federal workers have lost their jobs since President Trump’s administration began its efforts to cut government spending.

In the private sector, companies such as Chevron, Meta and Starbucks have also fired thousands of workers, adding more people to an already tough job market.

While the unemployment rate is at 4%, the hiring rate has fallen to its lowest level since 2013 — about 3.4% — according to the latest data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics.

Losing your job can be devastating and overwhelming. It can also feel unfair, and there can be deep feelings of rejection. It’s important to understand that these feelings are normal, says Eliana Goldstein, a career and success coach based in New York City.

“Our work takes up so much of our day to day, of our lives and being fired, being laid off is not necessarily part of the plan and it feels like something's completely out of our control,” Goldstein says. “It's incredibly important to acknowledge that it's normal and be able to have some acceptance around it so that you're then able to move forward and start leaning into taking some action.”

What does losing a job mean for your sense of self? 

“Of course, it's going to make you feel those feelings of self-doubt, and what I always like to do is really think about reframing the situation and say, ‘You know what? This is not how I wanted things to play out. This is incredibly frustrating and unfortunate, but how do I best use this as an opportunity and what can I learn from this experience?’

“Perhaps reflecting on the job. What did I like about it and what do I want to carry forward into the next? What do I want to leave behind? What part of me got completely lost at work that I now want to make sure it doesn't get lost when I land that new job. So, I think thinking about those things can help us in those moments of lost identity and really how we move forward proactively.”

How do you regain your confidence after being fired? 

“What you really want to think about is what have I achieved thus far in my career, and I think a practice that everyone can take moving forward is I like to have a little wins list in my phone, a little note that I have that I add to all the time. And this is big wins as well as micro-wins, small wins. And just going through your career and reflecting on what have I achieved? This could be a huge project that you worked on and successfully accomplished, or it could just be a small email that you got from a client that made you feel really good. And writing those things down in the moment will give you that boost of confidence, but having that going forward so that you can reflect on it in these moments will be really crucial.”

How do you create a new routine after losing your job? 

“I think it is so important to make a schedule just to feel like you have a little bit of organization and time management and that's going to help your mental health tremendously as well. So, what I generally like to do and advise people to do is at the start of every week, this could even be a Sunday night exercise, you take a look at your calendar and you proactively put in any appointment you know you have.

“And then I'm a big-time blocker, so when it comes to job search activities, doing things like, OK, I want to spend two to three hours this week on networking. Maybe I separate those into three or four 30-minute blocks. Let me proactively put that on the calendar so I know it's there and then I have a semblance of a schedule going into the week.”

What should you do when someone you’ve enjoyed working with is fired? 

“Perhaps giving that person a little bit of time and space, the person who was laid off, but I think sending them a note is so meaningful to say, ‘I just want you to know that I'm thinking of you. I'm so sorry this happened this way, and I want you to know how much I respected you as a colleague.’ I think sharing that with them means so much, but I also think that will uplift you knowing that you're being there for them. And then thinking about the people who are still there. Who is somebody that you can talk to, right? It's the same idea where you have to process and grieve as well, right? So who is someone either at work or outside of work that you can speak to so that you're not suppressing but you're processing those feelings? I think that's always a good place to start.

“And you know you might feel guilt, you might feel shame that you stayed and they left and it's normal to feel that way, but reminding yourself that unfortunately, this is how things happen sometimes and the last thing you want to do is start putting yourself down or feeling like you're lesser than others or there's something wrong with you, right? It's normal to feel this way, but unfortunately, this is how things happen sometimes. All you can do is be there for those people who are impacted as well as being there for yourself.”