How ‘Poems of Parenting’ helps us laugh through the journey of raising children

Artist Loryn Brantz said a lot of the parenting books that she read before having kids didn’t capture what being a parent was going to feel like from an emotional standpoint.

“It'll say, ‘You need to change your kids' diaper this many times a day,’ but it doesn't say how you're feeling while you're changing the diaper,” she said.

Many things out of our control make parenting young children hard: the sleep deprivation, overstimulation, lack of alone time.

But parenthood can also be hilarious and beautiful – like when we appreciate a newborn’s “plump squishy cheeks and cashmere cotton hair.” Brantz captures the nuance of it all in her new book, “Poems of Parenting.”

She said she hopes to make parents laugh and see they are not alone in this journey.

“It’s truly exhausting and I know me and my mom friends talk about it and we send each other memes on Instagram about all the feelings,” Brantz said.

Across her career, Brantz has worked as a preschool art teacher, she wrote and illustrated children’s books and she even worked behind the scenes on popular shows such as “Sesame Street” and "Ms. Rachel." This is her first book for adults.

“I didn't really think of it as a book at first. It was more like my children kind of broke me open and all these poems started pouring out,” she said. “It was like mind, body, and spirit – broke.”

Brantz said she was first inspired to write poetry on a day when she and her husband, Jake, and their two kids, Dahlia and Ronen, all had colds and nobody was sleeping.

“I had finally gotten my son down and I finally had gone to bed and I was looking at photos of him lovingly. He's so adorable. And I hear him cry and I was like, ‘No, shut your little baby face,’” she said. “I didn't say it to him like that, but that was my feeling.”

That first poem was called “Photos of You.” Then dozens more flowed out of her.

One called “Spicy Little Nugget” illustrates what happens when her daughter has big feelings and how she tries to help her calm down.

“She has disabilities, and she gets dysregulated. So, I kind of just have to meet her where she's at and see her as like the precious person she is and, and try not to get too mad when she's so spicy,” Brantz said.

Another favorite poem is called “Mom Joy.” In it, Brantz focuses on embracing her changing body and brain as she approaches turning 40.

“It feels very liberating. You know, I've had my kids, I am not as worried about the way I look,” she said. “And having children, you do realize you can hold so much more in your brain. It's like beyond your work and your life, and this and that, you're like thinking about all these things for them all the time.”

Brantz said that sometimes people think of the term “mom brain” as derogatory. But she sees it as a positive.

“It's like you're a little foggy, but you're remembering way more than most people because you're just thinking in a different way,” she said.

Brantz said even though parenting is challenging, the best feeling in the world is having a dance party with her kids to Queen at the end of the day.

“I always say whenever things are kind of not going right at home, we have a dance party,” she said. “Just being with my kids and playing music and dancing around, it always brings to light what I feel like is most important.”

Ashley Locke produced and edited this interview for broadcast with Michael Scotto. Locke also adapted it for the web.

By Loryn Brantz

Excerpt reprinted with permission of William Morrow.