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The hall is full of reprobates. The hall is full of jerks
And men with tiny, little brains who felt as if their perks
Included passes on behavior that would never fail
To land a mortal so engaged in state or federal jail.
The hall is full of drunks, of course, as everybody knows.
Ty Cobb is in. He killed a guy, or so the story goes.
Cap Anson’s also in the hall, despite his racist views:
He kept the Majors lilly-white, and that is hardly news.
So now the Vets Committee, charged with adding other names,
Will have to weigh the case for George. Among his many claims
To Cooperstown admittance is, his Yankees did succeed…
Although quite often he was elsewhere when they did. Indeed,
The Boss, the great Steinbrenner, ran afoul of this land’s laws,
And got himself suspended, which might give the voters pause
If it had happened once, but it was twice George had to bail…
He slipped some dough to Nixon. Though he didn’t go to jail,
He had to leave the ballpark, and he got sent off again
When he paid Howie Spira to turn up what foul terrain
He might on David Winfield. This was hardly just a lark.
And he got caught again, and once again he left the park.
The hall is closed to Mr. Rose. I’ll grant, he don’t smell sweet:
Though there are gamblers in the hall with fewer hits than Pete.
They also say that Mark McGwire will not make the cut.
For Barry Bonds, despite his homers, likewise, that door’s shut.
But will it swing wide open when the Boss’s name is brought
Before the elders who decide who gets the prize that’s sought
By players and executives, by scribes and umpires, too…
When George’s name comes up, what will the old deciders do?
And if they let him in among the well-known and the strangers,
Will they next welcome in George Bush because he owned the Rangers?
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