A Horse for Hire | Ep. 261

Have you ever made a deal with someone?

Perhaps you and a grown-up agreed that if you cleaned your room you could go out for ice cream. Or you and a friend agreed to trade a favorite book for a favorite toy.

Ideally, we stick to the deals we make. And if something unexpected comes up, and we have to bow out of our agreement, hopefully the other person will understand. But in today’s tale, we’ll hear what happens when they refuse to let it ride!

Our story is called “A Horse For Hire.” It’s inspired by tales from the Caribbean country of Haiti, as well as the American South.

This episode was the last of three recorded live at Tanglewood, summer home of the Boston Symphony Orchestra, in Lenox, Massachusetts. Joining host Rebecca Sheir on stage was a star-studded cast of actors: Adam Goldberg, Gideon Irving, Faith Salie and Thomas Warfield.

Providing musical accompaniment, under the direction of composer Eric Shimelonis, was a world-class quintet from the BSO: Chris Elchico on clarinet, Clint Foreman on flute, Cathy French on violin, Ben Levy on double bass and Suzanne Nelsen on bassoon.

This episode was adapted for Circle Round by Rebecca Sheir. It was edited by Dean Russell. Original music and sound design is by Eric Shimelonis. Our artist is Sabina Hahn.

GROWN-UPS! PRINT THIS so everyone can color while listening. We’re also keeping an album so please share your picture on Facebook and Instagram, and tag it with #CircleRoundPodcast. To access all the coloring pages for past episodes click HERE. Our resident artist is Sabina Hahn and you can learn more about her HERE.

Now It’s Your Turn

As we know, Marie was playing a trick on Pierre. But had she and her farmer friends actually turned Pierre’s horse into a cargo ship, what might it have looked like?

Draw a picture of how you imagine Pierre’s overloaded horse, then show it to someone you have fun with. After that, show it to us! Ask a grown-up to snap a photo and email it to circleround@wbur.org.

With your permission, we may feature you in “The Lion’s Roar”: the monthly newsletter of the Circle Round Club! Learn more about this super-fun opportunity for super-fans like you here.

Script:

NARRATOR: In a rolling valley in the countryside… in a tumbledown little cottage… there lived two yam farmers: Jean and Claude.

Jean and Claude worked very hard. Yet somehow their fields produced barely enough yams to feed them – let alone sell at the market come harvest time.

With each passing year, less and less food filled their larder, and fewer and fewer coins filled their pockets. The farmers did their best to scrape by, but most nights they went to bed with frowns on their faces and grumbles in their bellies.

JEAN: Well Claude? It’s harvest time again! And though we didn’t grow a TON of yams this year, we’re bound to make at least a little money at the market!

CLAUDE: Okay, but will it be ENOUGH money for a decent meal and a new set of clothing? I mean look at us, Jean! Our clothes are so old and ragged, they’ve got patches sewn on top of patches! To say nothing of the smell…!

JEAN: I know, Claude. Times have been hard. (beat) How about we just bring our crops to the market tomorrow, and see how we do?

CLAUDE: Fine, Jean. Fine. Let’s go saddle up our horse so she’s ready to carry our load.

NARRATOR: But when Jean and Claude went out to the stable, their horse was nowhere to be seen! The two farmers searched high and low. But alas…

JEAN: …I think she’s gone, Claude.

CLAUDE: I think you’re right, Jean. (beat) So what do we do? The market is in the city, and the city is miles from this valley. We can’t carry our crops all the way there without a horse!

JEAN: True… And out here in the countryside, it’s not like we have many neighbors with a horse we could borrow. (beat) Unless…

NARRATOR: Jean fell silent. Claude shot him a look.

CLAUDE: Oh no! Don’t even say it, Jean! Do NOT finish that sentence!

JEAN: UNLESS… we go see PIERRE!

CLAUDE: Uch! I told you not to finish that sentence! (beat) Look. Pierre may live in the only other house in this entire valley, but we are NOT going to see him.

JEAN: Okay, first off: Pierre doesn’t live in a HOUSE. He lives in a MANSION. And second: why NOT go see him? That guy’s so rich, he has at least a-hundred horses. (gasp) Maybe he’d even let us borrow a carriage!

CLAUDE: (sarcastic) Maybe he’d even let us borrow a flying pig! Or a snowball in summer! Or a day of the week that doesn’t end in “Y”!

JEAN: Wait what? You lost me.

CLAUDE: My point is, it’s never going to happen! Pierre is so stingy, he’s not about to let us borrow ANYTHING.

JEAN: The least we can do is TRY! (beat) So come on. Let’s go see the man about a horse!

NARRATOR: Jean and Claude laced up their worn-out boots and trekked across the valley. When they reached Pierre’s mansion, he answered the heavy wooden door with a haughty smirk.

PIERRE: (sarcastic/smirking) Well well well! If it isn’t my favorite neighbors from across the valley!

JEAN: (stage-whispering) See Claude? We’re his FAVORITE neighbors!

CLAUDE: (stage-whispering) That’s because we’re his ONLY neighbors!

PIERRE: What can I do for you two? Other than BEG you to throw away that clothing you’re wearing? It’s so shabby and  — (sniffs) — pungent…

JEAN: ACTUALLY, Pierre… Claude and I have come to ask… a favor. You see, we’re supposed to bring our crops to the market in the city tomorrow, but our horse ran away.

PIERRE: She ran away, did she? Perhaps she could no longer stand to look at your attire…! Or SMELL it…?

CLAUDE: Heh heh. That’s quite a sense of humor you’ve got, Pierre. But all hilarious jokes aside… Jean and I would like to borrow one of your horses. Given that your stable is twenty times bigger than our entire cottage, it seems you have a few horses to spare. Perhaps you might lend us one…?

PIERRE: “Lend” you one? Oh I seriously doubt that. The only thing I ever “lend” is my EAR, when my accountant is reading my bank statements! And telling me how much money I’ve raked in! (beat) So no. I won’t LEND you a horse. (beat) Though I WOULD consider RENTING…

NARRATOR: Jean and Claude exchanged a glance. They each had no more than a copper coin in their threadbare pockets. But what choice did they have?

JEAN: Alright Pierre. We’ll RENT a horse.

CLAUDE: How much would you charge for the day?

PIERRE: How much for the day…? Hmmm… That’s a good question. I’m thinking… fifty silver coins!

NARRATOR: Jean and Claude exchanged another glance.

JEAN: Uh… just to level with you, Pierre. All we have is a copper coin each.

PIERRE: A copper coin each? So you LITERALLY have “two coins to rub together”! How very appropriate!

CLAUDE: (aside) Heh heh heh. Another thigh-slapper. You ever consider doing stand-up?

JEAN: Listen, Pierre. We’ll have more cash once we sell our crops at the market. So how about we pay you our two copper coins as a down-payment… then tomorrow, after the market, we bring you the fifty silver coins?

NARRATOR: Pierre gave Jean and Claude a long stare.

PIERRE: Okay. Fine.We have an agreement. I’ll see you tomorrow. (beat) And in the meantime… for the love of pete… please change those clothes! 

NARRATOR: The moment Jean and Claude returned to their cottage, their mouths fell open. For who should they spy in the front yard, grazing on a patch of scrubby grass…

CLAUDE: You have got to be kidding me.

NARRATOR: …but their horse!

JEAN: Look who’s back, Claude! Now we won’t have to rent a horse from Pierre! We can use OURS! AND get our two copper coins back!

CLAUDE: Assuming he lets us break our agreement, Jean! You know Pierre. Not only is he stingy; he’s also stubborn!

JEAN: The least we can do is TRY!

NARRATOR: So Jean and Claude trekked back to Pierre’s mansion and explained how their horse had come back. But when they kindly asked if they could please break their agreement…

PIERRE: The answer…is NO!

CLAUDE: “No,” as in we can’t have our copper coins back? Or “no,” as in we can’t break our agreement?

PIERRE: BOTH!

JEAN: But Pierre! We don’t need to rent your horse anymore! Why should we still have to pay you?

PIERRE: Because! We had a deal. So I am keeping your two copper coins, and after the market tomorrow I expect you to bring me the fifty SILVER coins! Even if you don’t use my horse!

NARRATOR: Helpless and hopeless, Jean and Claude turned on their worn-down heels and trudged back home again. After a restless night tossing and turning, they were awakened by a knock at the door.

MARIE: Hello? Is anybody there?

NARRATOR: Yawning, stretching, and rubbing their bleary eyes, Jean and Claude rolled out of bed. Standing outside their cottage, in the light of the earlyc morning sun, was a woman. She wore faded overalls speckled with sawdust... and hanging from the loops of her belt were a hammer, screwdriver, and tape measure.

MARIE: Good morning, gentlemen! I hope I didn’t disturb you… but my name is Marie. I’m a carpenter by trade. And as I was passing through this valley, I couldn’t help but notice that your cottage could use… a little work.

CLAUDE: A “little” work? THAT’S an understatement.

JEAN: (ignoring Claude) Nice to meet you, Marie! I’m Jean. This is Claude. And you’re right. Our cottage isn’t in the best shape.

MARIE: I could fix it for you! I’m a wizard with tools.

JEAN: I’m sure you are, Marie… but we could never afford it. We’re experiencing some financial difficulties.

CLAUDE: ANOTHER understatement! Look lady. We’re broke. In fact, we’re in debt. We owe our stingy neighbor fifty silver coins.

MARIE: Your stingy neighbor…? You mean the fellow who lives in the enormous mansion across the valley? I swung by his place yesterday. He wouldn’t even answer the door! (beat) How is it you owe him fifty silver coins? Surely a rich guy like him can afford to forgive such a debt…?

NARRATOR: So Jean and Claude sat Marie down and told her their story. When they were done, her mouth stretched into a grin.

MARIE: Gentlemen? I’m pleased to report that your worries are over – and so is your debt! (beat) You see, as a carpenter I can fix just about anything. Decks, patios, furniture, cottages… And I promise. By the end of the day… if you play along with my plan… I’ll fix your PROBLEM, too!

NARRATOR: What do you think Marie is plotting?

We’ll find out what it is – and whether it works – after a quick break. 

[BREAK]

NARRATOR: I’m Rebecca Sheir and welcome back to Circle Round, live at Tanglewood in Lenox, Massachusetts!

Today our story is called “A Horse For Hire.”  

Before the break, Jean and Claude owed their miserly neighbor Pierre fifty silver coins, even though – in the end – they no longer needed to rent his horse. A traveling carpenter named Marie happened to come by. And when the farmers told her their problem, she promised she could fix it – if they played along with her plan.

Within an hour, Jean, Claude and Marie were knocking at Pierre's door. When he answered it, his face broke into a sneer.

PIERRE: Ah! So my favorite neighbors have come to rent my horse after all! (beat) Who’s this you’ve brought with you?

MARIE: My name is Marie, sir. I’m a friend of Jean and Claude. And before anyone rents your horse, we need to make sure… it’s BIG enough.

PIERRE: “Big enough”? All of my horses are as big and strong as can be!

MARIE: That will be for US to decide.

NARRATOR: Marie pulled out her measuring tape.

MARIE: Can you fetch one of your horses please?

NARRATOR: Pierre was mystified. But – always eager to show off his hearty, healthy steeds – he marched to the stable and came back with a horse.

PIERRE: Take a look at THIS one! He’s the biggest, strongest member of my team!

MARIE: So you say…

NARRATOR: Marie stretched out her tape and began measuring the horse's back, starting at his neck.

MARIE: Okay let’s see…. Jean and Claude? You’re pretty slender fellas. Since you’re both going to ride on this horse’s back to the market, I would say each of you needs, what, about fifteen inches of space…? Making for a total of thirty inches…?

NARRATOR: Jean and Claude weren’t sure where their new friend was going with this, but they did their best to play along.

JEAN: (doing his best to play along) Ummm, sure!

CLAUDE: (doing his best to play along) Math’s never been my strong suit, but I’m pretty sure fifteen plus fifteen equals thirty…?

MARIE: Great! And since I promised to ride with you to the market, I’ll need another fifteen inches. Actually, let’s say I’ll need EIGHTEEN. That makes a total of, what, forty-eight inches? Which is four feet exactly!

JEAN: (playing along) Indeed it is!

CLAUDE: (playing along) Again, not a math guy. But pretty sure that’s correct!

NARRATOR: Although Jean and Claude were still in the dark about what Marie was plotting, they had to admit: they were having fun.

But you know who WASN’T???

PIERRE: Hang on a minute!

NARRATOR: …Pierre!

PIERRE: You aren’t actually putting THREE PEOPLE on my horse’s back!!! Are you????

MARIE: OF COURSE we’re not putting THREE PEOPLE on your horse’s back! That would be absurd!

PIERRE: Phew! That's a relief.

MARIE: We’re putting FIVE people on your horse’s back!

PIERRE: Five???

MARIE: Yes! I forgot about Jean and Claude’s MOTHERS! You guys DID say you both were bringing your mothers, right?

JEAN: Of course!

CLAUDE: We never ride to the market without our mothers!

MARIE: Such wonderful sons you are! (beat) So now we’ve got Jean, Claude, me, both your mothers… and we still have room to spare! (beat) Which means I can bring my TWINS!

PIERRE: Your TWINS???? Surely THEY can't also fit on my horse's back!

MARIE: Good point, Pierre. But they’re rather small children… So they can sit on your horse’s EARS!!!

PIERRE: His EARS? Not his ears!!!

MARIE: You know what? You’re right. They’d be better off holding onto his TAIL.

PIERRE: His TAIL???

MARIE: Which leaves room on the horse’s BACK… for the PIGS!

PIERRE: The PIGS???

NARRATOR: Jean and Claude were finally catching on to Marie’s ruse… and doing their best not to crack up.

JEAN: Yeah Pierre! Didn’t we tell you? We’re also going to sell two PIGS at the market!

CLAUDE: In addition to our crops! (GASP) Oh no. Our crops! Where will we put our crops????

JEAN: Well… I suppose we could put them on our LAPS! We only have, what, six sacks of yams?

CLAUDE: I thought it was seven!

JEAN: In any case, they weigh a LOT!

CLAUDE: They sure DO! So perhaps we should hang them off the horse’s NECK?

NARRATOR: Pierre gaped at the farmers, his eyes as large as horseshoes.

PIERRE: Wait just a second! There is NO WAY my horse can carry two farmers and their mothers, one carpenter and her twins, plus two pigs and six sacks of crops – (gets interrupted mid-sentence)

CLAUDE: (gleefully interrupting) SEVEN! Pretty sure it’s seven!

PIERRE: Whatever!!!! There is NO WAY my horse can carry such a load. I refuse to rent him to you.

JEAN: But you already DID rent him to us!

CLAUDE: Yeah! We gave you our down-payment of two copper coins yesterday!

MARIE: That’s right! They did! (beat) Oh! Should we make room for the DOG too? You know how much FIDO enjoys a good romp through the – (gets cut off)

PIERRE: (interrupting) ENOUGH!!!

NARRATOR: Pierre balled his fists and stamped his foot.

PIERRE: We are talking about my HORSE here! Not a CARGO SHIP! (beat) The deal is off. I’ll give you your two copper coins.

JEAN: But do we still owe you the fifty SILVER coins…?

CLAUDE: Because come to think of it, we haven’t yet made room for GRANDMA! She’s such a petite little thing, surely this horse is big enough to – (gets cut off)

PIERRE: (interrupting) FORGET ABOUT IT!!!

NARRATOR: Pierre threw up his hands.

PIERRE: I shall pay you your two copper coins. And never mind the fifty silver coins. Just get off my property! And rent yourself an ELEPHANT! That’s the only creature who could possibly carry a crowd like yours!!!

NARRATOR: Well… suffice it to say, Jean and Claude did NOT rent an elephant. But they DID earn decent money at the market.

While their crops weren’t high in quantity, it turns out they were very high in quality. Their yams were heartier and tastier than any others at the market, and Jean and Claude sold every single one.

So, at long last, Jean and Claude had plenty of coins in their pockets. But even more valuable, they had a new friend in their lives. Marie wound up moving in, then fixing up and expanding the cottage. So in the end, there was plenty of room for everyone… even Grandma.