The Wild Goose Chase | Ep. 271

Have you ever heard of "a wild goose chase"?

When we talk about “a wild goose chase,” we’re usually talking about a search for something that cannot be found.

But in this week’s episode, we’ll meet a tailor who goes on a “wild goose chase” of a different sort – one that literally does involve a goose. And with a little kindness, and a whole lot of magic, our hero finds so much more than he ever thought possible!

Our story is called “The Wild Goose Chase.” It was inspired by tales told in the Eastern European country of Ukraine, as well as Russia: a country spanning Eastern Europe and North Asia.

We recorded this episode before a live audience of excited kids and grown-ups at Symphony Space in New York, New York. Joining host Rebecca Sheir on stage was a star-studded cast of performers: Adam Goldberg, Kathryn Grody, Steven Hauck, Gideon Irving and Faith Salie. And playing live music on the Belarusian, Russian and Ukrainian folk string instrument known as the domra (read more below) was the one and only Eric Shimelonis.

This episode was adapted for Circle Round by Rebecca Sheir. It was edited by Dean Russell. Original music and sound design is by Eric Shimelonis. Our artist is Sabina Hahn.

GROWN-UPS! PRINT THIS so everyone can color while listening. We’re also keeping an album so please share your picture on Facebook and Instagram, and tag it with #CircleRoundPodcast. To access all the coloring pages for past episodes click HERE. Our resident artist is Sabina Hahn and you can learn more about her HERE.

Now It’s Your Turn

Pavlo was grateful to his new friends, and they were grateful to him. One way to show our loved ones how much we appreciate them is by making a Gratitude Circle!

Next time you’re with family or friends, sit everyone down in a circle. Now turn to the person to your left and tell them one thing you appreciate about them.

Then that person should turn to the person on their left and do the same. Once everyone has appreciated the person to their left, you can reverse directions and share thanks the other way!

Musical Spotlight: Domra

The long-necked domra is a Russian, Ukrainian, and Belorussian stringed instrument in the lute family. The domra was played in the 1500s and 1600s by traveling minstrels known as skomorokhi… until Tsar Alexei Mikhailovich banned all folk instruments in 1648!

The domra was rediscovered in the late 1800s – quite literally! A student of instrument maker Vasily Vasilievich Andreyev stumbled upon a broken domra in a stable in rural Russia, and since no illustrations or examples of the traditional domra were known to exist in Russia, Andreyev reconstructed, redesigned and patented a three-stringed version in 1896.

The three-string domra is the most common type in Russia, while the four-string domra is the one used in Ukraine and Belarus. The domra comes in a variety of sizes: (from highest to lowest) piccolo, prima, mezzo-soprano, alto, tenor, bass and contrabass. The prima domra is the most popular, and is often used to play the melody in folk ensembles.

Script:

NARRATOR: In a country village, in a cozy cottage, there lived a tailor named Pavlo. Pavlo worked out of a little shop in his garden shed, where he spent long hours sewing, stitching, and mending beautiful suits, jackets, dresses, and coats.

The talented tailor definitely had a way with a needle and thread. But he also had a way with people! When you visited Pavlo’s shop to place your order, you were always greeted with a smile.

PAVLO: Welcome, my friend! How wonderful to see you!

NARRATOR: And if you happened to be a few coins short when you came back to pick your order up…?

PAVLO: No problem, my friend. No problem at all! You can pay me back with a cup of tea sometime. Yes?

NARRATOR: Pavlo was by no means a rich man. He earned just enough money sewing, stitching and mending to buy food for his larder and supplies for his shop. But he was content and happy… until things took an unexpected turn.

Pavlo’s village fell on unusually hard times… and just like that, orders for new suits, jackets, dresses, and coats all but dried up.

PAVLO: Oh dear! My heart breaks to see my fellow villagers struggling to get by like this – to say nothing of myself! I'm down to my last crust of bread and my final bits of cheese! I’ll STARVE if a new order doesn’t come in soon!

NARRATOR: So… you can imagine Pavlo’s delight when a new order DID come in… from the queen! It arrived in the form of a carefully-wrapped package and letter, left by a royal messenger at Pavlo’s door. Pavlo read the letter first.

PAVLO: Hmmmm… the queen says in her letter that she has been searching for the most gifted tailor in the land. She’s heard about my skills and wishes for me to make her a new gown. She says I have exactly one week to complete it. And I must use the special thread in this box…?

NARRATOR: Pavlo shivered with excitement as he unwrapped the box. He shivered even more when he saw what was inside.

PAVLO: My goodness! It’s a big spool of GOLDEN THREAD! Glittering and gleaming! I cannot WAIT to use it! …Though come to think of it, I mustn’t wait! Not if the queen wants her new gown completed in just one week!

NARRATOR: It was springtime: the time of year when Pavlo often did his tailoring work in the yard, under the light of the sun. So, after stuffing his apron with sewing needles, a measuring tape, and a pair of sharp shears, he brought the golden thread outside.

But the moment he sat down and got to work, do you know what happened?

The air around him filled with the flurry of beating wings! And when Pavlo glanced up, what should he spy wheeling in circles over his yard… but a wild goose… the size of a donkey!

The massive bird shot Pavlo a withering look. Then she opened her beak, and – much to the tailor’s astonishment – she spoke!

GOOSE: I see your golden thread and I’m impressed! / So I’m going to take it, to build my nest! / You can try to resist but it’s no use. / For no one can defy the wild goose! (ad-lib laughing/honking/etc.)

NARRATOR: Next thing Pavlo knew, the goose was lowering her head and diving  right toward him! He tried jumping out of the way. But it was too late. The goose swooped down, snatched the spool of golden thread from his hand, then lofted into the sky and flew away.

PAVLO: Goodness gracious! Am I dreaming right now…? Or did a giant talking goose just make off with my golden thread to build her nest? (beat) Though now that I think of it, it isn’t MY golden thread at all! It belongs to the queen! And if I don’t make the gown she’s requesting, I’ll go broke! I must get back that thread!

NARRATOR: Pavlo’s head and feet raced as he sprinted away from his yard. Doing his best to follow the bird’s path, he bolted across meadows, he crested grassy hills. When he reached a winding river, he came to a sudden halt.

PAVLO: My word! This river is littered with so many branches, leaves and sticks that the current can hardly run! And the fish can hardly swim! What a sorry sight!

RIVER: YEAH. I AM a sorry sight, aren’t I?

NARRATOR: Pavlo’s jaw dropped so low it nearly splashed into the water.

PAVLO: Pardon me? Who said that? (beat) Oy. Don’t tell me a RIVER is talking to me now…

RIVER: Actually, I AM! If you can CALL me a “river.” I’m so gummed up I look more like a pond! (beat) Any chance you could lend a hand and clean me out?

NARRATOR: Pavlo smiled. He WAS in a hurry, but he wasn’t heartless. So he strode into the water, stuck out his hands, and scooped out all the debris.

PAVLO: There you go, river! All cleaned up!

RIVER: Thank you! Thank you so much! If I can return the favor someday, you bet I will!

NARRATOR: Pavlo bid the river farewell and resumed his chase. He was dashing across a rolling valley when he came upon an apple tree. As he drew closer, he wrinkled his brow.

PAVLO: Dear me! Look how droopy those branches are! And how tangled! It looks like this tree hasn’t been pruned in ages. Poor thing!

TREE: I AM a poor thing, aren’t I?

NARRATOR: Pavlo’s eyes grew rounder than two apples.

PAVLO: Apple tree? Do YOU talk, too?

TREE: You bet I do! Though not for much longer. If my branches don’t get pruned, I’ll never survive. (beat) Any chance you could give me a trim?

NARRATOR: Pavlo was losing time, but he couldn’t allow this tree to languish. So he pulled his shears from his apron and gave the branches a snip.

PAVLO: There you go, tree! You’re as good as new!

TREE: Thank you! Thank you so much! If I can return the favor someday, you bet I will!

NARRATOR: Pavlo waved the tree goodbye and resumed his chase. He was racing through a wheat field when he noticed something curious. At the edge of the field was a big stone oven, covered with soot!

PAVLO: What is an OVEN doing in the middle of the countryside? And it's so dingy and grimy! What a mess!

OVEN: I AM a mess, aren’t I?

NARRATOR: Pavlo froze.

PAVLO: Let me guess. An OVEN is talking to me now…?

OVEN: I sure am! Though in my present state I’m a rather sorry excuse for an “oven.” I was made long ago for a house that was never built. So I was abandoned! And look how grubby I’ve become! Any chance you can put in a little elbow grease and clean me off?

NARRATOR: Pavlo was eager to move on, but he couldn't leave the oven like this! So he pulled out a handkerchief and set to work wiping and scrubbing.

PAVLO: There you go, oven! Not a lick of soot to be seen!

OVEN: Thank you! Thank you so much! If I can return the favor someday, you bet I will!

NARRATOR: Pavlo wished the oven well and carried on with his chase. The hours passed, and come nightfall, he found himself in a swampy marsh. And as he squinted through the darkness, who should he spy sleeping amidst the moonlit reeds and rushes but…

GOOSE: (ad-lib honking sleep sounds)

NARRATOR: …the GOOSE!

PAVLO: (quiet enough not to wake her up) …And my spool of golden thread is sitting beside her! Which means she hasn’t yet built her nest!

NARRATOR: Pavlo took a breath. All he had to do was tiptoe to the sleeping goose, seize the golden thread, then high-tail it toward home.

PAVLO: Of course, when that goose wakes up and discovers what’s missing, she’s bound to be angry. (dramatic) So here’s hoping I can grab that thread and get home… before the goose gets ME!

NARRATOR: Will Pavlo get his golden thread back without being caught? What would YOU do if YOU were the tailor?

We’ll find out what happens, after a quick break.

[BREAK]

NARRATOR: I’m Rebecca Sheir. Welcome back to Circle Round Live at Symphony Space in New York, New York. Today our story is called “The Wild Goose Chase.”

Before the break, Pavlo the tailor had one week to make a gown for the queen… using a spool of golden thread. When the thread was stolen by a giant wild goose, Pavlo gave chase. In his pursuit, he came upon a river, tree, and oven, and did a good deed for each.

After running for hours, Pavlo finally tracked the goose down in a reedy marsh. It was nighttime, and the goose was sleeping. You may not know this, but geese have excellent hearing – even when they’re snoozing! They stay unusually alert while unconscious. So not long after Pavlo tiptoed over, seized the thread, and scurried away, can you guess what happened?

The wild goose woke up! And when she saw that the golden thread was missing, her eyes blazed with fury.

GOOSE: The golden thread! It’s nowhere about! / Taken by that human, no doubt! / When I find him, I won’t let him loose. / He’ll pay for messing with the wild goose! (ad-lib laughing/honking/etc.)

NARRATOR: The goose launched into the sky, hot on Pavlo’s trail. Pavlo was nearing the oven in the wheat field when he heard angry honking behind him.

GOOSE: (angry honking)

PAVLO: Oh oven! Dear oven! I need your help!

OVEN: Well I DO owe you a favor! What’s up?

PAVLO: Do you hear that sound?

GOOSE: (angry honking)

OVEN: How could I miss it?

PAVLO: Well, a wild goose is chasing me and I need to hide! QUICK!

OVEN: No problem! Hop in!

NARRATOR: The oven popped open its door and Pavlo crawled inside. Moments, later, the wild goose came winging over.

GOOSE: Clean stone oven on the ground! / Have you seen a human around? / He burgled my thread and stole it away! / So now I’m going to make him pay!

OVEN: A thread burglar, you say? Hmmm. Now that I think of it… I might have seen him... Maybe he went THAT way…?

NARRATOR: The oven wobbled to one side – pointing the goose in the wrong direction. Once the bird was out of sight, the oven opened its door, and Pavlo scrambled out.

PAVLO: Thank you, oven!

OVEN: Don’t mention it!

NARRATOR: Pavlo gave the oven an appreciative pat, then kept going. But as he was approaching the apple tree…

GOOSE: (angry honking)

PAVLO: Oh no! How did the wild goose find me? She must have figured out the oven's trick!

NARRATOR: Pavlo picked up the pace and went bolting to the tree.

PAVLO: Oh tree! Dear tree! A wild goose is chasing me. Can you help me with that favor you promised?

TREE: Of course! Climb up!

NARRATOR: Without wasting a minute, Pavlo clambered up the tree's trunk. The moment he disappeared into the leafy branches…

GOOSE: Tidy tree full of apples and leaves! / Help me find a no-good thief! / He stole my thread in a sneak attack! / So now I’m going to get it back!

TREE: A no-good thief, you say? It’s possible I saw him… Perhaps he went THAT way…?

NARRATOR: The tree stuck out a branch – pointing the goose in, you guessed it, the wrong direction! Once the bird glided away, Pavlo leaped to the ground.

PAVLO: Thank you, tree!

TREE: My pleasure!

NARRATOR: Pavlo flashed the tree a grin, then pressed on. He was nearing the river when, once more…

GOOSE: (angry honking)

PAVLO: Oh river! Dear river! A wild goose is after me, and even though the oven pointed her in the wrong direction, and the tree pointed her in the wrong direction, somehow she’s hot on my heels. Can I ask for that favor you promised?

RIVER: You sure can! Dive in!

NARRATOR: Pavlo held his breath and plunged into the water. Moments after his head vanished beneath the surface…

GOOSE: Winding river, brimming with fish! / Help me find the thing that I wish! / A human stole my thread; it’s mine no more. / Now I must find him and even the score!

RIVER: A thread-stealing human, you say? It could be that I saw him… Perhaps he went THAT way…?

NARRATOR: The river let loose a stream of bubbles – pointing the goose in, yes, the wrong direction! Once she fluttered off, Pavlo emerged from the water.

PAVLO: Thank you, river!

RIVER: You’re very welcome. Now GO!

NARRATOR: Pavlo gave the river a salute, then continued toward home. But the moment his cozy cottage came into view…

GOOSE: (angry honking)

PAVLO: Oh boy! There are no rivers, ovens or trees to save me now! I’d better quicken my step!

NARRATOR: Pavlo ran as fast as he could. But the goose was flying as fast as SHE could!

GOOSE: (angry honking)

NARRATOR: And just when it looked like she would swoop down and snatch the tailor up, he burst through his cottage door, slammed it shut, then locked it tight.

PAVLO: Phew!

NARRATOR: The wild goose went even wilder, swooping and diving around the cottage.  She banged on the door…

GOOSE: (angry honking)

NARRATOR: She rattled at the windows…

GOOSE: (angry honking)

NARRATOR: …but it was no use. She couldn’t get in. So, at long last, she gave up and soared away.

GOOSE: (resigned honking)

PAVLO: Whew! Now that the goose is gone, I can finally start making the queen’s gown! But first: I need some rest. I ran miles and miles rescuing this golden thread and I can barely keep my eyes open!

NARRATOR: Pavlo trudged off to bed… and started snoring before his head even hit the pillow!

PAVLO: (cartoony sleeping sounds)

NARRATOR: The next morning, Pavlo was roused from his slumber – not by the rising sun or the twittering birds… but by his grumbling stomach!

PAVLO: Great heavens! I can't remember the last time I put food in my belly! I wish I could dig into a wholesome breakfast, but my larder is as empty as my stomach. (beat) Better just grin, bear it, and get started on the queen’s gown.

NARRATOR: Pavlo stuffed the golden thread in his apron and stepped outside. But as he was walking to his shop in the garden shed, his eyes were greeted by a most surprising sight! Sitting in the yard were three baskets. The first basket was filled with fish. The second was filled with apples. The third was filled with bread.

PAVLO: Good golly! Those fish are so fresh you’d think they’d just been caught from a river! Those apples are so ripe you’d think they’d just been plucked off a tree! And that bread is so golden you’d think it had just been baked in an oven! (beat) (GASP!) Wait a minute...

NARRATOR: Pavlo scratched his chin.

PAVLO: (thinking/figuring it out) A river… a tree… an oven… (a-ha moment) Of course! A river! A tree! And an oven! And here I was thinking they’d ALREADY returned the favor. (beat) (calling out) Thank you, my friends! Thank you!

NARRATOR: Needless to say, Pavlo’s empty belly wasn’t empty for long. He enjoyed some of his new friends’ fish, apples and bread, then shared the rest with his fellow villagers. Then he picked up the golden thread and got to work.

By the end of the week the queen’s gown was finished… and she paid Pavlo quite handsomely for it. But even though the tailor could now live more comfortably than ever, it wasn’t the money that made him feel rich. It was the knowledge that when you “sew” the seeds of kindness… you truly can reap the rewards.