Birbal's Barrels | Ep. 308

See if you can guess this riddle:

I grow with every bite I get,

But never full or satisfied yet.

I’ll empty wallets, ruin kings

Yet still demand the finest things.

The answer is greed: that feeling of wanting and craving more than we actually need. In today’s tale, a clever character shows the difference between greed and need, with help from some grain, some gold, and a barrel of lies!

Voices in this episode include: Ryan Dalusung, GM Hakim, Dawn Ursula and Ravi V. Patel, star of the FOX comedy “Animal Control.” You LEGO fans might recognize Ravi as a celebrity partner and mentor on “LEGO Masters Jr.” He’s also the subject of “Meet the Patels”: the romantic comedy documentary film he co-directed and co-wrote with his sister, Geeta Patel.

This episode was adapted for Circle Round by Rebecca Sheir. It was edited by Dean Russell. Original music and sound design is by Eric Shimelonis. Our artist is Sabina Hahn.

GROWN-UPS! PRINT THIS so everyone can color while listening. We’re also keeping an album so please share your picture on Facebook and Instagram, and tag it with #CircleRoundPodcast. To access all the coloring pages for past episodes click HERE. Our resident artist is Sabina Hahn and you can learn more about her HERE.

Now It’s Your Turn

You can make your own barrel of fun!

Grown-ups: email a photo of your Circle Round fan and their barrel of fun to circleround@wbur.org. With your permission, we may feature you in your Circle Round newsletter, “The Lion’s Roar”!

Musical Spotlight: Sarangi

The sarangi is a short-necked string instrument played with a bow. Though it’s used throughout India, the instrument is particularly important in the Hindustani music of North India.

Approximately two feet long and just six inches wide, the sarangi is carved from a single block of wood into a box-like shape with three hollow chambers named after body parts: the pet (“stomach” or “belly”), chhaati (“chest”) and magaj (“brain”). The instrument has three or four melody strings and up to 37 sympathetic strings. When you bow the melody strings, the sympathetic strings vibrate to add harmony and resonance.

The sarangi traditionally was considered an ideal instrument to accompany India’s highest musical form: i.e. vocal music. But because of its strict status as an accompanying instrument – not a virtuosic solo one – it was relegated to second-class status and eventually grew out of favor. Its fortunes waned for many years, until late 20th century musician Pandit Ram Narayan helped it earn a higher-status reputation as a fully-fledged – and fully respected – solo instrument.

Script:

NARRATOR: Birbal was chief advisor to the emperor. Legendary for his razor-sharp intellect and lightning-fast wit, Birbal also acted as a judge, finding unexpected ways to settle disputes among the emperor’s subjects.

One day, two such subjects came to Birbal’s court: a pair of merchants, one named Arvind…

ARVIND: Thank you for seeing us, Birbal!

NARRATOR: …and one named Asha.

ASHA: We hope you'll see to it that justice is served!

NARRATOR: Birbal looked from one merchant to the other.

BIRBAL: I shall do my best to assist you! So tell me. What brings the two of you here today?

NARRATOR: Arvind spoke up first.

ARVIND: It is I who am bringing this case, Birbal. You see, Asha and I grew up together. We went to the same school… had the same friends... we even had the same dream: to become traveling merchants!

BIRBAL: And as I understand it, you did!

ARVIND: Indeed we did! We achieved our dream. But I wound up doing business in one part of the world, while Asha wound up in another. The two of us lost touch. And we didn’t cross paths again until one year ago, when we encountered each other at a bazaar… and Asha asked to borrow money.

ASHA: Okay, everything you said was accurate until that last part! Arvind and I DID encounter each other at a bazaar one year ago. But I did NOT ask to borrow money!

ARVIND: You made it very clear you were in need! You were all: (overdramatic silly voice; making fun) “Ohhh! Arvind! I owe a very important person five-hundred gold pieces! And if I can’t scrape together five-hundred gold pieces, I shall be ruined! RUINED!”

ASHA: I said no such thing!

ARVIND: You’re right! You MOANED it! (overdramatic silly voice; making fun) “Poor me! Poor me! Whatever will I do?”

ASHA: I don’t sound like that!

ARVIND: Psht! Wanna bet?

BIRBAL: Friends! If you’d like me to hear this case, then I need to hear the whole story. (beat) Arvind? Can you continue please?

ARVIND: With pleasure! …AND with pain. Because on that fateful day one year ago, my heart went out to my old friend. I offered to loan her the five-hundred gold pieces. And now, one year later, she has yet to return them!

ASHA: Because I never borrowed them in the first place!

ARVIND: Yes you did! And to be honest, I wouldn’t be in such a hurry for her to repay the loan if I weren’t… in trouble.

BIRBAL: Have you fallen on hard times?

ARVIND: You could say that! Last month, I was riding my horse from one village to another when I was set upon by bandits! 

BIRBAL: Bandits?

ARVIND: It was awful! The heartless thieves stole everything! Including my horse! And all my goods! So I had nothing. And when I tracked Asha down at her big, new, fancy house and desperately asked for my coins back… she refused!

ASHA: Because I had no idea what you were talking about! You never lent me a thing, Arvind! You said so yourself: I live in a “big new fancy house” Do I look like the type who needs to borrow five-hundred gold pieces?

ARVIND: Last year you did! At the bazaar! You looked absolutely miserable… which is why I took pity on you. Then you took advantage of ME!

ASHA: No! YOU are taking advantage of ME! By bringing me to court for a case with absolutely zero merit!

BIRBAL: Friends! As the judge in this room, I shall decide whether this case has merit or not. (beat) Arvind. What proof do you have that you lent Asha the five-hundred gold pieces?

ARVIND: I have NO proof. Asha was an old friend! It didn’t even occur to me to put something in writing! (beat) (muttering) Though her fancy new house seems like proof enough to ME!

ASHA: I heard that! (beat) Birbal? Arvind is being completely out of order. I did not BORROW any money; therefore I do not OWE any money. The reason I’m doing so well is because of hard work! Not some bogus loan.

ARVIND: The loan was NOT “bogus”!

BIRBAL: Friends! I believe I’ve heard all I need to hear… (under his breath) and then some. (beat) But before I can deliver a verdict, I’ll need to think things through. (beat) So please. Go home. Go about your business. I promise: you shall hear from me in due time.

NARRATOR: Once the merchants were gone, Birbal leaned back in his chair and scratched his head.

BIRBAL: Hmmmm… This case is most curious. And in order to declare a verdict, I’ll need to employ some curious means. (beat) Clerk?

NARRATOR: A court clerk came rushing in. Birbal flashed her a grin.

BIRBAL: I’d like you to visit the royal granary and bring me two barrels of grain. (beat) If all goes as I hope, those barrels will help me discover which one of our merchants is as sound as a barrel…and which one is as crooked as a barrel of fish hooks! (beat) And believe me: outing that scoundrel for their misdeed will be more fun than a barrel of monkeys!

[theme music in]

NARRATOR: Who do YOU think the “scoundrel” is? And how will Birbal uncover the truth? We’ll find out, after a quick break.

[theme music out]

[BREAK]

[theme music in]

NARRATOR: I’m Rebecca Sheir. Welcome back to Circle Round. Today our story is called “Birbal’s Barrels.”

[theme music out]

NARRATOR: Before the break, Birbal – advisor to the emperor and judge to the people – was considering a case between two merchants. Arvind claimed Asha owed him five-hundred gold pieces, but Asha denied it.

Birbal told the merchants he would make his judgment soon. In the meantime, he had his clerk bring him two barrels of grain from the royal granary.

BIRBAL: Thank you, clerk. I’m going to deliver these barrels to our two merchants. There’s just something I need to do first.

NARRATOR: He fished around in his pocket and took out two gold coins. Then he pulled the lids off the barrels… flipped the lids over… and wedged one gold coin between the wooden slats on each lid’s bottom.

BIRBAL: (as he wedges the coins) There…! And there!

NARRATOR: Once the coins were stuck and the lids were replaced, Birbal went bustling through the palace. He grabbed a set of servants’ clothes. He put on a pair of old boots. He even scared up a wig and false beard.

Once he was satisfied with his disguise, he loaded the barrels onto a cart and wheeled over to Arvind’s house.

BIRBAL: (disguised) Good day, sir! Might you be the merchant known as Arvind?

ARVIND: Indeed I am!

BIRBAL: Wonderful!

NARRATOR: The disguised Birbal beamed and gestured toward one of the barrels.

BIRBAL: The emperor sent me to deliver this barrel of grain. It is his hope to sell one-thousand such barrels at the market! But first, he needs to know what price ONE barrel will fetch! He’s heard of your skills as a merchant, and would like YOU to sell the barrel for him. Tomorrow, he asks that you bring the proceeds to the palace: every bit of money you acquire as a result of this sale.

NARRATOR: Arvind gave the bearded man a smile; it was clear he did NOT recognize Birbal.

ARVIND: It would be my honor to sell this barrel of grain for the emperor! Thank you!

BIRBAL: And thank you!

NARRATOR: Birbal turned and walked off. But he didn’t walk AWAY. Instead, he hid behind a bush and watched to see what Arvind would do next.

ARVIND: Boy oh boy! Did that really just happen? Did I really receive a personal request from the emperor to sell his grain? What a stroke of luck! (beat) But before I bring this barrel to the marketplace, I should take a look at its contents. Get an idea of what I’m selling.

NARRATOR Arvind opened the barrel wide – and his eyes went even wider!

ARVIND: Oh my! There’s a gold coin stuck on the bottom of the lid! I’m lucky I opened this barrel before I sold it!

NARRATOR: Birbal chuckled to himself, then wheeled the second barrel over to Asha’s house. Arvind’s description had been accurate: Asha’s place was big and fancy, with towers and turrets and balconies galore.

BIRBAL: (disguised) Greetings, ma’am! Might you be the merchant known as Asha?

ASHA: In fact I am!

NARRATOR: Birbal showed Asha the barrel and gave her the same spiel he’d given Arvind: the one about selling the emperor’s grain and bringing all the proceeds to the palace. Asha gaped at the bearded stranger, unaware of his true identity!

ASHA: Well well well! It would be my pleasure to sell the emperor’s grain! Thank you!

BIRBAL: And thank you!

NARRATOR: Once more, Birbal turned and walked off. But he didn’t walk AWAY. Instead, he hid behind a statue in the yard to witness Asha’s next move.

ASHA: What luck that the EMPEROR has asked ME to sell his barrel of grain! However! Before I bring it to market, I should inspect its contents.

NARRATOR: Asha lifted the barrel’s lid.

ASHA: Well lookee lookee! There’s a gold coin stuck on the bottom of the lid! (beat) The emperor must have billions of these gold coins lying around. The treasury will never notice if one is missing… Steward???

NARRATOR: She snapped her fingers. One of her many stewards came rushing over.

ASHA: Steward! Take this coin and place it in my money box.

STEWARD: The coin in the lid?

ASHA: (sarcastic) No! The coin on THE MOON! (beat) Yes the coin in the lid! And be quick about it! Make sure your legs move faster than your BRAIN!

STEWARD: (chastised) Yes, ma’am.

NARRATOR: From behind the statue, Birbal watched this drama unfold. Then, quietly, he hurried away.

The following day, once Arvind and Asha sold their barrels of grain, they reported to the palace to bring the emperor their proceeds. When they stated their business to the guards, they were led into a large room… where Birbal was waiting.

BIRBAL: Well hello there! Are you here for the verdict of your case? I told you I would be in touch when I reached my decision! And I am not yet ready!

NARRATOR: The merchants shook their heads.

ARVIND: Actually, Birbal… Asha and I are here to see the emperor!

ASHA: Turns out he gave both me and Arvind a barrel of grain to sell at the market. Though I’m not sure why he paired ME with this lying flim-flammer. 

ARVIND: I’M the flim-flammer? I just want my five-hundred gold pieces back!

ASHA: And I want you to stop fibbing about a fake loan!

BIRBAL: Friends! Please. You haven't finished stating your business. You were saying that the emperor gave each of you a barrel of grain to sell. And now…?

ARVIND: Now he wants us to bring him the proceeds.

ASHA: All the money we acquired as a result of the sale.

BIRBAL: Is that so…?

NARRATOR: Birbal, of course, knew full well why the merchants were here. But he pretended to know nothing.

BIRBAL: I’m afraid the emperor is indisposed at the moment. So how about you give ME the money you acquired?

NARRATOR: Each merchant handed Birbal a leather pouch. Both pouches were plump with coins, but Asha’s was noticeably plumper.

Birbal counted the coins in Arvind’s pouch first.

BIRBAL: One-hundred-and-one gold coins! That seems to be a fair price. But tell me, Arvind: why not an even one-hundred? Why one-hundred-and-one?

ARVIND: Oh! I meant to tell you! I found the extra gold coin stuck in the lid of the barrel when it was delivered! I figured I would return it to the royal treasury, where it rightfully belongs.

BIRBAL: I see…

NARRATOR: Birbal scratched his chin.

BIRBAL: I appreciate your honesty, Arvind. And of course, your fair and excellent salesmanship. (beat) Now! Let’s count your colleagues’ proceeds, shall we?

NARRATOR: He reached into Asha’s pouch and tallied the coins.

BIRBAL: Hmmmm…! Asha – while Arvind charged ONE-hundred gold coins for HIS barrel, YOU charged TWO-hundred! How come?

ASHA: I wanted to fetch the emperor the highest price possible! So I convinced some poor sap to shell out two-hundred gold coins. It’s what any salesperson worth their salt would do!

BIRBAL: Uh-huh. …And what about the OTHER gold coin?

NARRATOR: Asha shifted her eyes.

ASHA: (playing dumb) The other… WHAT…?

BIRBAL: The other gold coin! I didn’t say anything before, but I have it on good faith that BOTH barrels of grain had a gold coin stuck in their lid. So… where is YOURS?

NARRATOR: A bead of sweat appeared on Asha’s forehead.

ASHA: (nervous, lying) A gold coin? In the lid? There was no gold coin stuck in my barrel’s lid! There must be some mistake!

NARRATOR: Just then, the door flew open… and in raced Asha’s steward.

STEWARD: Here I am, ma’am!

NARRATOR: Asha shot the steward a glare.

ASHA: What are YOU doing here? You’re supposed to be at home! I know my fancy new house is big, but only a DOLT like YOU would mistake it for a palace!

STEWARD: But ma’am! You SENT for me! I received a message saying I should meet you here! …And bring you THIS!

NARRATOR: The steward held out a hand. Pinched between their fingers was a gold coin.

STEWARD: It’s the gold coin you found stuck in the lid of the emperor’s barrel! I’m not sure why you wanted me to bring it to the palace… but here it is!

NARRATOR: Asha grimaced. Birbal grinned.

Because guess what? HE was the one who had sent for the steward… and asked the steward to bring the gold coin!

STEWARD: I’m sorry, ma’am. I guess I was mistaken!

BIRBAL: Actually… you weren’t mistaken at all!

NARRATOR: Birbal smiled at the steward, then pointed a finger at their boss.

BIRBAL: If anyone in this room is mistaken… it’s ASHA. Mistaken to think she can overcharge an innocent customer for one barrel of grain! Mistaken to think she can get away with stealing a gold coin from the emperor! And VERY mistaken to think she can LIE about owing her honest, hardworking colleague five-hundred gold pieces! (beat) Which is why Asha shall pay Arvind double the amount she borrowed!

ASHA: Double???

BIRBAL: Yes! You shall pay Arvind double the amount you borrowed… OR, you shall face the wrath of the emperor for the crime of stealing from his treasury!

NARRATOR: Well, I’m pleased to say that by the end of the day, Arvind received his money. He also received an apology. Asha begged her old buddy for forgiveness. And Arvind was happy to give it - so long as Asha was honest with him in the future. Because being lied to by anyone – especially a friend – is NOT a barrel of fun.