The things we carry — in our totes

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I’ve got two things on my mind this week: glimmers and the things we carry — in our bags.

Bags first. I am a person who aspires to have everything I need in my tote: wallet, phone, keys (of course), but also Band-Aids (my kids wipe out), gum, mints, chapstick, an emergency snack (cashews usually, unsalted), a small brush, and a pocket-sized notebook and pen (just in case inspiration strikes). When I was a regular rider of public transportation, I also always had a book or magazine — heaven forbid I should sit idle waiting for the T. Do I always have all of these things? Alas, no. But I aspire to be this organized — and that must count for something.

My co-editor Sara is more whimsical. While on vacation last week, she reported carrying a slim book of dad jokes (which she claims “saved” her family), a sketch pad and a particular Papermate felt marker, and also various crystals. (I don’t know about the crystals — but I’m into it, and would also like to be a person who ferries around energetic rocks.) My other co-editor, Kate, is as practical and organized as I aspire to be, and then some. If you need an extra-strength Tylenol, a tiny tool to fix your sunglasses or a portable iPhone charger, Kate’s your woman.

I’m analyzing the contents of our bags and what they say about us because we published a delightful essay this week by Amory Rowe Salem, who’s been a high school lacrosse coach for 25 years and counting. She’s got all sorts of treasures in her royal blue and fuchsia two-tone tote: hand sanitizer, tampons, a sharpie, socks, a pinecone. (Read the essay for the backstory on the pinecone.)

By now you may be thinking: Cloe, the stock market is bungee jumping. The Trump administration is pressure-testing American democracy (that’s according to hundreds of political scientists). Our new secretary of health and human services is making statements “laced with scientific inaccuracies” about autism, and the administration shuttered one of the largest and longest studies of women’s health (before it decided to reverse course). Why consider chapstick and crystals?

Because for the newshounds among us, the last few months have been unrelenting. This interrogation of what we carry feels, to me, like what Harvard psychiatrist Nancy Rappaport might call a glimmer or micro moment, “an internal or external cue that brings us a sense of safety or joy.”

As it happens, my glimmers are mostly outside. Puttering around, rooting for my tiny blue hyacinths to bloom. Noticing a new public art installation. Watching “Field of Dreams” with my dad and my girls. Taking a moment to appreciate these little things doesn’t mean I care any less about the big, consequential stuff. They are the respite I need to keep going.

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