Advice

Goodbye To All That Meddling
After 231 editions of Heavy Meddle, Steve Almond is hanging up his spurs as Cognoscenti’s resident advice columnist.

Heavy Meddle: Struggling With The Sins Of The Father
A daughter wants her father to be honest with her about his history as a sexual harasser.

Heavy Meddle: I Want The Neighbor Kids Out Of My House
The problem is, she invited them in and they have no intention of leaving.

Heavy Meddle: I Just Got A New Teaching Job And Now I Want Out
A special ed instructor battles to grant herself the right to leave a toxic workplace.

Heavy Meddle: In Trying To Protect My Niece, I Lost My Only Sister
An allegation of molestation becomes the dividing line for a family.
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Heavy Meddle: A Newly Minted Retiree Just Wants To Be Alone
The problem is people assume “retired” means “available for every activity.”

I Was Offered The Chance To Denounce Trump — And Chickened Out
Fears of “sounding stupid” trumped the letter writer’s desire to take a stand.

Heavy Meddle: The Agony Of Planning My Wedding Without The People Who Raised Me
A bride-to-be finds herself weeping when she thinks about tying the knot without her loved ones beside her.

Heavy Meddle: How Do I Move To A New City But Hang Onto My Old Relationships?
Is there some sort of magic spreadsheet that will do the trick?

Heavy Meddle: What's My Role At My Brother's Wedding?
I’m OK with not being a bridesmaid. But should I throw a bridal shower anyway? Whose job is that?

What Kind Of Person Would Steal Books From A Little Free Library?
A letter writer contemplates the mindset of those who willfully trash what others seek to beautify.

Heavy Meddle: I Have Herpes And An Open Relationship
A letter writer struggles with the ethics of what to disclose and when.

Heavy Meddle: My Son Is On The Spectrum And Headed For College. I’m Freaking Out
A mother worries that she’s worrying too much about her son and the bad decisions he might make.

Heavy Meddle: My Cousin Abandoned Me. Now She Has Cancer. What Do I Do?
I feel deserted by her, but I also want to be able to lend support.

Heavy Meddle: My Jerk Brother Is In Crisis; Should I Reach Out To Him?
A sister worries that if she doesn’t intervene, her brother may give up on life.

Heavy Meddle: My Boyfriend Is Drifting Through Grad School With No End In Sight
More than five years in, a woman is starting to feel that she’s the only one working in the relationship.

Heavy Meddle: Help! My Mother-In-Law Acts Like A Teenager!
She’s great with her grandkids, but kind of a mess. How do we deal with her?

Heavy Meddle: My Grieving Aunt Is A Pariah, Should I Reach Out To Her?
Her aunt lost two partners in less than two years and wound up ostracized by her family.

Heavy Meddle: How To Help A Friend With Dementia?
A couple senses their good friend is suffering cognitive decline, but they’re not sure when and if to say something.

Heavy Meddle: How Do I Deal With An Emotionally Abusive Brother?
A loving sister finally reaches her limit with the brother she’s long supported.